Tag Archives: Cat

My Cat Ate My Pop-Tart

The other night when the unborn child started twerking in my tummy, I tried testing out my mommy skills to figure out what she wanted.

I hadn’t eaten much for dinner. Was she hungry?

I reached over to the nightstand’s box of Pop-Tarts that hadn’t been touched since the first trimester. The crinkling foil woke up Ozzy Pups. He moved from my feet and sat close to my stomach…on my right side.

Esme Kitty mimicked his actions, but she sat on my left side.

I gave Ozzy a small piece of Pop-Tart, and then I offered Esme a piece as well. I expected her to turn her nose up at it. It wasn’t meat, cheese, chips, or blueberry muffins, and that’s the extent of her human food diet.

She ate it.

I will eat anything! Even your face!

I will eat anything! Even your face!

I was stunned.

Ozzy, who was obviously expecting her rejected piece, was stunned.

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course my cat likes Pop-Tarts. Duh.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “You’ve already lost control….”—Ginjuh


This Is Why Cats Hate Dogs

Remember the post about Esme and Ozzy cuddling up together on the bed?

This was the picture:

Touching

Only before that picture, there was this picture:

Esme: Seriously?

Esme: Seriously?

That’s why Ozzy looks a little embarrassed in that first pic. Esme scolded him.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “…Then it was all about the peeing, the endless peeing. When my water broke, I called up my OB and wasn’t sure, because I thought, ‘Maybe I’m just peeing nonstop?'”—She’s a Maineiac


I Do NOT Snore

Now that the second trimester is about to end, what can I tell you about it? Hmmmm…

  • It’s been uneventful.
  • I haven’t even had any crazy cravings.
  • Ozzy Pups sits on my lap all the time. I think he senses that it’s about to disappear.
  • Morning sickness returns about once a week just to mess with me.
  • I snored…twice.

During the middle of the second trimester, my mom and Kiefer had this conversation:

Mom: So…how is she? Is she driving you nuts yet?

Kiefer: Is this a trick question?

Mom: No. I mean, is everything irritating her yet?

Kiefer: Nope. She’s only had one breakdown when her clothes wouldn’t fit. She’s been good.

Mom: ::giving Kiefer a sympathetic pat:: It’s coming. Is she snoring yet?

Kiefer: No. I’ve never heard her snore.

Mom: ::another sympathetic pat:: That’s coming, too.

A few days ago, I woke up to find only myself, Ozzy, and Esme in bed. Kiefer was missing.

I thought, Haha! The sympathy middle of the night pees have finally kicked in!

The next time I woke up was for my own bathroom trip (That’s karma for laughing at Kiefer), and Kiefer was still gone. He was on the couch.

Kiefer: You were snoring.

Thoughtsy: ::horrified:: WHAT?

Kiefer: Not loudly.

Thoughtsy: You’ve been snoring since your surgery, but I just roll you over ignore it.

Kiefer: Esme was also sleeping between my legs. I think she’s just softening me up before she kills me.

Luckily, my snoring lasted 2 nights. It is finished…for now.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Whenever a stranger touches your stomach, your response should be ‘Yes, that is what happens when you eat too many large pepperoni pizzas. Let it be a lesson to you.’”—PinotNinja

Happy Thanksgiving!


The Cold: Bringing Pets Together Since…Forever

Esme Kitty and Ozzy Pups tolerate each other. All Ozzy wants to do is play with Esme. All Esme wants to do is…remain invisible to Ozzy.

That might be too drastic.

Ozzy wants to play with Esme 24/7. Esme wants to play with Ozzy for approximately 20 minutes each day—and that might be a stretch.

Until recently, the only way Esme’s been able to sleep with me on the bed is when she’s under the covers and Ozzy doesn’t know she’s there.

Notice that I said, “Until recently.”

During a midnight bathroom trip, I woke up to this:

Touching

Of course, my midnight bathroom pee trip woke up Kiefer.

Thoughtsy: Oh my god! Don’t move! Esme and Ozzy are on the bed…and they’re TOUCHING!

Kiefer then needed to make his own trek to the bathroom. When he returned, the lights in the bedroom were on.

Thoughtsy: I needed to document this with a picture. I mean, look! Their butts are touching! They’re gonna be besties from now on.

Kiefer: Can I turn the light off now?

Thoughtsy: Yes. Just be careful getting back into bed. Don’t disturb them.

That’s right. I told my husband who was 3-days postsurgery not to disturb the pets.

I was so excited I couldn’t get back to sleep for about an hour. True story.


Casper the Positive-Energy Ghost

When Kiefer and I bought our house, we knew there was…a history.

The house was built in the 1930s, but the most recent owner had a sad story. Her daughter died in a car accident, and her son was so distraught he committed suicide. And who knows what happened before they lived there.

When a friend came to visit, she walked in and said…

Friend: Oooo…do you feel that?

Thoughtsy: What?

Friend: There’s something here. But don’t worry: it’s good.

Another friend said, “The house has an energy, but it’s a positive energy. The lady who lived here was so nice. And don’t worry: the boy didn’t die in the house.”

Fantastic. Why can’t our house have no energy?

Kiefer has had a lot of fun with “the energy.”

Kiefer: Where are my socks? The ghost moved them! Why is there a wet towel on the bed? Did you hear that knocking? The ghost is trying to communicate.

Thoughtsy: Jerk….

Ghosts don’t shower and throw their towels on the bed. Little boys do.

A few nights, when I’ve woken up to pee, the bookcase lights in the baby’s room have been on. It’s just a touch pad on the shelf that I’m sure Esme Kitty plays with and turns on, but it’s still freaky at 1 in the morning.

Then last night…::shines flashlight on face::…after Kiefer and I went to bed, Esme started hissing. Hissing like I’ve never heard her hiss before.  And not just 1 or 2 hisses, she went on and on.

Ozzy Pups was laying at the bottom of our bed, so he wasn’t tormenting her.

Thoughtsy: Kiefer! Something’s wrong. Esme’s hissing.

Kiefer: Huh?

I got up only to see that Kiefer had fallen back asleep. I flipped on every light switch I passed on my search for Esme. Ozzy Pups woke up and came with me.

We found Esme sitting calmly on the back of the recliner in the living room. I gave her a few pets before heading back to bed.

Positive energy doesn’t make cats hiss.