Tag Archives: Bruce Campbell

Run for Your Life! It’s a Killer Turkey!

A few months ago, a Netflix movie perked my interest: ThanksKilling. So I added it to my queue…and waited. Waited until it was nearly Thanksgiving to watch the holiday-themed movie.

I would call this a B movie, but that seems like an insult to Evil Dead. So this is a C movie. Possibly even a D movie.

  • Turkeys can talk…and kill.
  • Killer turkeys will drink your blood like cranberry sauce.
  • Killer turkeys make bad puns. Like ax-cidently killing someone with an ax.
  • Bunnies commit suicide by throwing themselves in campfires.
  • Turkeys wear extra small gravy-flavored condoms.

Uh…yeah…. When this movie started, it was so bad that it was good. But the Killer Turkey having sex… ::shudder:: That ruined it for me.

And I was just about to turn it off when I saw this:

Don’t be fooled. This is a Killer Turkey in an excellent disguise.

Then it got even better. The college girl mistakes the Killer Turkey for her dad.

“Hi Daddy!”

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! And beware of killer turkeys!

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “The repetition of the line ‘I know exactly where we are’ was like a car ride with Mr T. So was the need for Dramamine.”—ThyPolar’s Life


Look Who’s Evil Now!

I’ll swallow your soul!

Drop whatever you are doing right now and go here and buy a ticket to Evil Dead the Musical. Just dooooo it.

Oh. My. Gawd. I saw this play Saturday night, and it was flipping amazing. So amazing that I’ll probably see it again.

There’s a BLOOD splash zone. That’s all the awesomeness you need to know.

For those of you not convinced by the blood splash zone…

  • Upbeat and fun music.
  • Puns. Good and bad.
  • A talking moose head.
  • The chainsaw-to-head scene is like the energizer bunny…it just keeps going.
  • Profanity. Lots of it.
  • Bruce Campbell quotes: Good…Bad…I’m the guy with the gun.
  • The demon-zombie Necronomicon dance. It’s like the Time Warp…only better!

After the show, I recommend Magoo’s for smores. Ask for the SmOreo. A smore with Oreos.

Warning: Like any food I recommend, the SmOreo probably has crack in it.

Gimmie some sugar, baby.

Have you bought your tickets yet? Buy an extra and I’ll go with you. What’s that? You don’t live in Maryland? That’s ok. You can find a production closer to you by looking here.


Zombies Don’t Hibernate or Fly South for the Winter

Someone in the blog world (I can’t remember who) told me to watch the movie Dead Snow. Because I will watch anything about zombies.

Except Zombie Strippers. I’m still waivering on whether or not to watch that one.

Plot: A group of medical students take a vacation in the snowy mountains. Nazi zombies attack, and the snowy white hills run red with blood. The movie is like a giant cherry sno-cone.

Since I’ve never been skiing (or encountered a real zombie), I learned a lot from Dead Snow.

  1. If you hear the Nutcracker’s “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,” run. Zombies are chasing you.
  2. Sometimes you have to wear a hat to bed to stay warm, but not a shirt.
  3. Don’t tease the shirtless hat-wearing guy. He sews up a zombie bite with a fish hook and then bandages his neck with duct tape. Dude is hard core.
  4. Men will cut off their infected arm to avoid becoming a zombie, but they will not cut off their penis.
  5. If you fall over a cliff, use zombie intestines as rope.

A few warnings for you if you decide to watch the movie (via Netflix Instant Viewing)…

Have your popcorn ready and your laundry folded because there are subtitles.  And subtitles mean no multitasking.

When the characters diss the Evil Dead series, you’ll be tempted to turn off those Bruce Campbell haters. But power through because the movie redeems itself by referencing Indiana Jones, April Fool’s Day, Friday the 13th, Homer Simpson, and Terminator.

I think the most important lesson I learned from the movie is Never go skiing (or partake in other outdoor winter activities). If you do, you’ll be attacked by Nazi zombies.


Zombie vs. Tinkerbell: Who Wins?

Only 362 more days till Halloween. Wait…is this year a leap year? 

I’m going to let these Halloween pictures speak for themselves. Mostly. There will be some commentary by me. But I’ll try not to ramble. Really.

By the way, don’t forget to post your costume links here by the end of the day: Halloween Costume Contest.

Zombie Bar Crawl

Braaaaains!

I know the caption says, “Brains,” but I think my face says, “ROAR!” I’m part zombie, part tiger.

My Right Boob

Just in case you couldn’t see it before, I’m posting a closeup of my right breast name tag: “Hello My Name is Ash. Housewares.” Shop Smart. Shop S-mart. Bruce Campbell would be proud.

Pop-Tarts from Hippie

I can’t decide if I should eat these Pop-Tarts from Hippie Cahier or frame them.
Halloween Party
 

Don’t let the costumes fool you. I’m in the middle; therefore, I’m the pimp.

This picture was taken at the end of the night—when the wings came off and the jacket went on. You’ll notice Kiefer’s make up all over my face from Halloween kissing. And of course, there’s Pete. I named Kiefer’s skull staff “Pete.”

I name everything “Pete.” My first-born child will be named Pete. Unless it’s a girl. Then I’ll name her Petetricia. Petetree? Petechelle? I’m still working this out.