Tag Archives: Blarney

It’s Raining Men!

Because Channing Tatum and Joe Manganiello were in the movie Kiefer had a guys’ poker night, Blarney, Princess, and I went to see Magic Mike.

Having never been to a strip club, I decided to live vicariously through the movie.

Star-spangled tophats are not standard issue.

  • Stripping isn’t just taking your clothes off. There’s choreography, too.
  • What is that in the corner of the screen? Why, yes, it is a penis pump. With a penis in it.
  • Strippers might need a thong with an elephant trunk.
  • Sometimes guys pretend their penis is a machine gun.
  • Drugs are expensive.
  • To make women scream, throw a prop between your legs.

The most important lesson I learned is never go to a strip club in real life because Channing Tatum won’t be there…and that will be sad.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Adorable—she looks like a bed troll!”—Cestlavie22

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Blarney and the Brit Save the Day

The Scene: Thoughtsy is at a bar for Blarney’s birthday. A random drunk guy begins on hitting on both Blarney and Thoughtsy.

Blarney, always a giver, throws herself on the “grenade” in an effort to save Thoughtsy: Thoughtsy has a boyfriend.

The plan backfires. Drunk Guy nodds. He likes a challenge, so he begins focusing all of his efforts on Thoughtsy.

Drunk Guy: My friends are at another bar, but I think I’ll stay here.

Thoughtsy: But your friends will miss you. You should probably go meet them.

Blarney sends in reinforcements. Cue the entrance of a Brit wearing a shirt that says, “When in Doubt, Pull Out.” Don’t be fooled: it’s a clever disguise.

Brit: Hi, Dear. How are you? (::stretches arm around Thoughtsy’s shoulders::)

Thoughtsy: Hi…Boyfriend!

Brit: Sweetie, it looks like you need another drink. Let’s go to the bar and get you one.

Thoughtsy: Boyfriend, you’re the best boyfriend ever.

At the bar…

Thoughtsy: Thank you so much for saving me from Drunk Guy! So how long have you been in the U.S.?

Brit: Why are you asking me that? How long have we been together? You’re a horrible girlfriend!

Thoughtsy: (::hangs head in shame::) So did you get one of the cupcakes I brought for Blarney’s birthday?

Brit: I don’t like cake.

Thoughtsy: (::staring in disbelief::) We need to break up. It’s not you; it’s me. I can’t date anyone who doesn’t like cupcakes. So what do you eat for dessert, Soon-To-Be-Ex-Boyfriend?

Brit: Spotted dick.

Thoughtsy: Seriously? Is this a pick-up line? Because it’s awful. Crap…Drunk Guy is coming back. (::throws arm back around shoulders::)

Brit: God, you’re clingy….

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Most key limes are imported now. Bam, citrus facts!”—Blurt


This Post Is Not About Beads

I lied. Look…beads! On Esme!

I can't even look at you, I'm so ashamed of my actions.

Want to know a secret? You don’t have to flash anyone to get beads. Beads just rain down upon you…even when it’s not Mardi Gras.

But New Orleans isn’t just about beads. It’s not just about food and desserts. It’s not just about ghosts. It’s about music.

It’s about Tennessee Williams. It’s about guys and gals screaming “Stella!” in the streets. Yes, we saw that.

The lady in the hat above the first "N" in "Tennessee" is Piper Laurie.

It’s also about shirtless guys…who break dance and do flips.

I swear this guy danced and did flips. I just didn’t get any good pics with my camera.


Ghosts, and Pirates, and VooDoo Queens, Oh My!

There is more to New Orleans than just bars and beads.

It’s also about ghosts…in bars.

Boo!

Blarney and I took a ghost tour that stopped at a haunted bar. Awesomeness. That bar was called LaFitte’s and was owned by a pirate. Rrrrrr….

We went back to see it in the daylight…where I saw this in the courtyard:

I think this lizard is the Pirate LaFitte reincarnated.

We also visited the grave of VooDoo Queen Marie Laveau. Here. Educate yourself.

New Orleans Cemetery Fun Fact #1: Nicholas Cage will be buried in the same cemetery as the VooDoo Queen. His grave is a pyramid.

New Orleans Cemetery Fun Fact #2: When the caretaker offers a tour and then locks you in the cemetery, don’t panic because OH-MY-GOD-YOU’RE-LOCKED-IN-A-CEMETERY-NEXT-TO-THE-PROJECTS-WITH-A-STRANGE-MAN-WHO-MAY-SACRIFICE-YOU-TO-THE-VOODOO-QUEEN. He’s just keeping the ghosts in and the hoodlums out.

I was afraid to take a picture of the VooDoo Queen’s grave, but I did buy lots of VooDoo Dolls.

That's Pinhead in the middle.

PS: Did you enter to win the Chocolate Zombie Bunny yet?


New Orleans: It Ain’t All Pretty

Despite what you may be thinking, Blarney and I did more than eat alligator and desserts in New Orleans.

We drank…on the go…because you can do that in NOLA.

You know what happens when I drink? Not that. That only happened that one time.

I get immature. And giggle. And then I start taking photos of things like this:

What do you think a Butt Naked scented candle smells like?

Tee hee...The hot sauce says, "Harry Pooter."

And since we’re drinking, how about a drinking game? Like Never Have I Ever. I’ll go first.

Never have I ever…gone to Starbucks in my bathrobe.

This lady has to take a drink.