Tag Archives: balls

Do You Put Ice on That?

I am a woman. That means I have…and I don’t have…. I’ll just let his kid explain it.

Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.

Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.

Which means I have no idea what to do for Boo and Radley when they get hurt…in that area.

The other evening we grilled. Kiefer went inside for drinks, and I kept Ozzy away from the grill. Boo, Radley, and Radley’s friend played baseball in the backyard…and became America’s Funniest Video contestants.

Boo pitched; Radley’s friend made contact with ball. And the ball…it made contact with Boo’s…well…you know.

Boo: Ow! ::collapses to the ground::

Thoughtsy: Uh…I’m just gonna go get your dad. ::runs inside:: Kiefer! Boo got hit by the baseball…in a not-good place.

After that, Boo was done with baseball for the evening. Instead, he just hung out on the couch.

Thoughtsy: Soooooo…do you want some ice for that?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I am using that line the next time I desperately need a break from the kids: ‘Oh, snap. The door is stuck. Guess you’ll have to just go play quietly in your room until daddy gets home. Pass my latest copy of People magazine under the door.'”—UndercoverL


Would You Like to Try My Schweddy Balls…Ice Cream?

Schweddy Balls. It’s gonna be legen—wait for it—dairy.

Before you click away in disgust because I keep typing the word balls, hear me out. Schweddy Balls (I just said it again!) is the new Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor inspired by a Saturday Night Live skit (which you can watch here).

A few weeks ago, some friends said they tried Ben and Jerry’s new Schweddy Balls ice cream. And so began my search for the holy balls of ice cream….

I tried about 4 different grocery stores. Nothing. (I did buy the BJ’s Red Velvet Cake ice cream…Yum!)

And just when I was about to give up hope, just when I thought Schweddy Balls would never pass my lips…. Last night I swung by the local Ben and Jerry’s Scoop Shop.

This is where you think, Why didn’t she start there? To that, I say, SHUT UP!  Seriously though…I was distracted by the thought of chocolate-covered balls.

Ahem…here’s my ice cream.

It’s vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum, and it has malted milk balls and chocolate-covered rum balls.

Mmmmmm…balls.

Without further ado, here are my balls:

And how did such a sweet, innocent lady like myself order the ice cream with the racy name? I waited until someone else ordered Schweddy Balls, and then I said:

I’ll have  what he’s having…only in a cup.