Tag Archives: 35 Before 35

I Believe I Can Fly

After years and years of searching for Tinkerbell, I finally found her…in LA. She has a vacation home there for when she needs a break from Neverland.

As soon as I saw her, instead of politely introducing myself, I reverted to my 29 4-year-old fairy-loving self, and I snatched her up between my hands.

What can I say? I panicked.

Then she bit me…which caused my cupped hands to open. And she flew away. I shouted an apology after her.

But on my hands, she left me some fairy dust, which I used to do this:

skydiving

I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to jump out of a plane. I’d be that person whose hands have to be pried off the seat…and then again off the door of the plane…and probably again from the instructor’s neck.

But indoor skydiving…that was awesome!

The instructor said I was a natural: I had perfect posture, he said. Which is why he flung me 20 feet up in the air and spun me around in circles on my first flight.

When I came back down, I may have checked the crotch of my flight suit…it was dry. Phew!

#10 on my 35 Before 35 accomplished!

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Oh come on, Thoughtsy. Admit it…you’ve been walking around LA in see through panties. You can’t fool us! I’ve done posts on my weird ones. Might be time to revisit them. Thanks for the idea. Have fun on the West Sahhhdddd.”—Misty’s Laws


#11. Send a Message in a Bottle

Since the Florida Keys trip didn’t go exactly as planned, I missed out on some fun activities.

Like snorkeling. Swimming with the fishes (literally, not in the mafia way) in the clear blue waters will have to wait for a future trip.

I swimsuited and snorkeled up and tried to snorkel in the bathtub at home, and I even threw in some of Radley’s toys for wildlife, but it just wasn’t the same.

I also missed my opportunity to meet a blogger in Key West. Oma from Blurt (my long-lost father who I was stolen from at birth) was on his Keys vacation while I was down there.

What are the chances? So we planned to meet.

Only I wasn’t feeling well the day we were supposed to meet, so I couldn’t make it.

Instead, I sent him this beachy-themed letter instead:

bottle

The waters in the Keys are surprisingly accurate…and fast.

Ok, ok, ok. I mailed it. #11 on my 35 Before 35 completed!

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Everyone keeps asking what I did for NYE and my answer is, ‘nothing.’ Then they ask why and my answer is, ’cause I hate people.’ Makes me seem like a doll.”—Lorraine


Just Me and Flipper

Despite not feeling well, I still managed to get in the water with a dolphin in the Florida Keys.

Meet Jax. Or AJ. I can’t remember which one shook fins with me.

*Please focus on the dolphin and not my never-seen-the-light-of-day tummy.

While Kiefer was scuba diving, I surprised Boo and Radley with a visit to the Dolphin Research Center (where Flipper lived). Below is a pic of both of the dolphins we interacted with.

Jax was rescued when he was about eight months old. He was all by himself and the victim of a shark attack, so he’s missing part of his dorsal fin, tail fluke, and right pectoral flipper. Tough little guy.

Not only did we get to touch the dolphins, we also gave commands that the trainers use, and got in a splash fight with the dolphins.

I learned a lot about dolphins, which I’m unable to share with you because once in the water, my mind began chanting,”Just let me touch the dolphin…Just let me touch the dolphin!”

Here’s what I remember:

  • Dolphins are cute.
  • Dolphins like ice cubes.
  • Don’t get in a splash fight with a dolphin. The dolphin will win.
  • Dolphins are huge.

Just like when a wolf sat in my lap, being in an animal’s environment and being vulnerable to that animal makes you realize just how big it is. And also how beautiful.

Thanks, DRC, for helping me cross something off my 35 Before 35 List.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Whenever I hear of something bad happening – like my friend’s oven door falling off on Thanksgiving and her trying to find someplace to finish her turkey – I think ‘that will be a good story when it stops sucking.’ So…I stand behind your spectacular death thesis.”—Kitten Thunder


32

32 is my magical childbearing age. I can feel it in my bones uterus.

Why 32? Because like mother, like daughter.

No, my mom didn’t have me when she was 32. She had me when she was 27, just before turning 28.

But my parents had been trying to get pregnant for about a year before I was conceived. Ask any couple who’s been trying to conceive for a year. I bet they’ll tell you it was the longest year of their life.

But the strongest driving force behind the age of 32 is the knowledge that my mom began menopause around age 37.

37.

I’m almost 31. 37 is just around the corner.

And although the prospect of a cramp-free existence is exhilirating, the idea of not being able to have a child terrifies me.

So 32 is my age. At 32, married or not, I’ll be putting my savings towards the turkey baster method. Or I’ll just become a turbo-slut until I’m pregnant.

I haven’t decided which route to take yet. I’m leaning towards the disease-free-turkey-baster route.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “What are these pants you speak of?—Inurbase

Scariest Comment From Last Post: Peg-o-Leg’s comment, which you can read here.


#12. Eat a Homemade Pop-Tart

What are you doing this weekend? Going to your kid’s baseball game? Skip it.

Instead go to Southeast DC…

You: You’re sending me to Southeast?! Are you trying to kill me? 

Southeast DC had a bad reputation, but it’s cleaned up. I swear.

Besides, won’t you stare down death for this delicious homemade Pop-Tart from Ted’s Bulletin?

SPRINKLES! (Yes, I had to use all caps. I’m that excited.)

They had a Peanut Butter Maple Bacon Pop-Tart. A bacon Pop-Tart. I shit you not, bacon lovers.

I opted for strawberry because I’m a fruit filling gal.

So with #12 on my 35 Before 35 list completed, I started to head home. And then I saw the Sweet Lobby cupcakery.

Sweet Lobby recently won Cupcake Wars. So you have to try a cupcake and a macaron.

Then to work off your sugar overload, walk one more block to the Eastern Market and shop.

So go to Ted’s and have a Pop-Tart. Then walk to Sweet Lobby for more sugary goodness. It’s just one block. You can do it. I have faith in you.

What’s that? You can’t eat a Pop-Tart, macaron, and cupcake all in the same day? That’s why they make to-go boxes.

Amateurs….