Category Archives: Family

Do You Put Ice on That?

I am a woman. That means I have…and I don’t have…. I’ll just let his kid explain it.

Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.

Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.

Which means I have no idea what to do for Boo and Radley when they get hurt…in that area.

The other evening we grilled. Kiefer went inside for drinks, and I kept Ozzy away from the grill. Boo, Radley, and Radley’s friend played baseball in the backyard…and became America’s Funniest Video contestants.

Boo pitched; Radley’s friend made contact with ball. And the ball…it made contact with Boo’s…well…you know.

Boo: Ow! ::collapses to the ground::

Thoughtsy: Uh…I’m just gonna go get your dad. ::runs inside:: Kiefer! Boo got hit by the baseball…in a not-good place.

After that, Boo was done with baseball for the evening. Instead, he just hung out on the couch.

Thoughtsy: Soooooo…do you want some ice for that?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I am using that line the next time I desperately need a break from the kids: ‘Oh, snap. The door is stuck. Guess you’ll have to just go play quietly in your room until daddy gets home. Pass my latest copy of People magazine under the door.'”—UndercoverL


The Boys Have Me Outnumbered

One of the things that weighed heavily on my mind with Kiefer’s proposal was Boo and Radley. What did they think? Over the last 6 months, I’d seen them only a handful of times.

Maybe they hated me for depriving them. I mean, while I lived with them, they became accustomed to a certain Pop-Tart-filled lifestyle….

When Kiefer told Boo and Radley that he proposed, Boo’s response was, “Way to go, Dad!”

After I said, “Yes,” I was still worried. Because that’s what I do: I worry.

Turns out there was nothing to worry about. When Kiefer told them we were getting married, Boo said, “Yessssss!”

YES

Kiefer said Boo did the fist-pull thing, so he pretty much looked like this.

And Radley? He’s excited for the 24/7  desserts that I bring to the relationship. Who wouldn’t be?

Ozzy Pups is happy, too.

Oh my goodness…the boys have Esme Kitty and I outnumbered! I guess the only thing left to do is resign myself to a lifetime of raised toilet seats.

What have I done?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I was under the impression that everyone carried a bookbag filled with high-tech sex toys. I guess this revelation radically changes my plans for world domination.”—AbsentElemental