Category Archives: Baby

I Knew It…Even Babies Hate Pumpkins

It’s that time of year. Pumpkin flavor has returned.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Have you seen the 16 Reasons You Should Never Reenact Pinterest Photos?

There’s a special section on pumpkins (ick!) and babies (awwww!).

Never will I ever put Scout in a pumpkin. Here’s why:

These poor, poor babies. Not one of them looks happy. They’re all crying except for the third one from the top, but I think that’s only because he was put in last, and he’s still a little dazed.

Or he has an escape plan.

So remember this picture the next time you see a pumpkin.

Just say no.


Oh Where, Oh Where Can My Baby Be?

Dear Pod People,

Please return my baby. My perfect little baby who…

  • Takes 3-4 45-minute naps a day every 2 or 2.5 hours.
  • Sleeps through the night for 10 hours.
  • Puts herself back to sleep when she wakes up.
  • Sleeps in her crib.

I do not appreciate the pod baby you have left in her place. You see, the pod baby is teething.

Don't be fooled by the cuteness. This IS a future pod person.

Don’t be fooled by the cuteness. This IS a future pod person.

The pod baby you see above is not as easy going as my baby. This pod baby nurses to sleep, wakes up an hour later, must fall back asleep on me, and then wakes up every time she goes back into the crib, so I finally give up and bring the pod baby into Mommy and Daddy’s bed where the pod baby decides every few hours that she must sleep on me, not next to me.

And, of course, I get no sleep because I’m convinced I will either roll on said pod baby or roll over while the baby is on top, which will send the baby onto the floor.

I was willing to take care of the pod baby until my husband and I had this conversation:

Thoughtsy: When does the teething stop?

Kiefer: I think they have all their teeth around 2 years.

Thoughtsy: NOOOOOOOOOO!

So there you have it. Just when I thought sleep was once again mine for the taking, I find out there’s another year and a half of no sleep.

Faaaaaantastic.


How To Eat a Giant Rice Krispie Treat

Scout is just a little over 4 months, and she’s interested in food. Specifically, my food.

Even more specifically, my birthday food.

A friend sent me a giant Rice Krispie Treat. It’s the length of my arm. I’m sorry I can’t hold the phone out far enough to show you the full magnitude.

Yum

 

Scout overheard the doctor saying she can start eating rice cereal, and she took the initiative to begin with my Rice Krispie Treat.

There was only one problem.

She is still working on hand-and-eye coordination. And she doesn’t know what a wrapper is.

May I present how Scout eats Rice Krispie Treats.

Step 1: Use Your Tongue.

Lick

Kiefer and I take responsibility for this. I may have given her a lick of my strawberry popsicle. She liked it. Then Kiefer may have given her a lick of his lime popsicle. She may have definitely not liked it.

Step 2: Try Biting.

Bite

Step 3: Show Your Frustration…

Frustration

Hopefully, someone will take pity on you despite the fact that you’re a baby and have no teeth.

*Scout had her first Pop-Tart rice cereal on Sunday. She was so excited she knocked the bowl out of my hands and all over her. Mommy Fail.


Just Because…

I wish I had something to blog about.

I thought about trying to put a funny spin on how Boo and Radley’s mom pissed me off.

Or how a minitrip to Ohio for my cousin’s wedding screwed up Scout’s sleep schedule. She’s back on track now and sleeping better than ever—10 hours straight at night.

Or how while Kiefer was traveling for work for 2 weeks Esme Kitty returned to sleeping on my head.

Or how I turned 33.

Then I just decided to post this picture instead:

FathersDay

Voted Most Pinchable Cheeks Ever.


Grocery List: Condoms and M&Ms

On Sunday Scout’s Grammy watched her while Kiefer and I went on a date. Our date was from 4-7. (Yes, we were back at 6:40, and I only checked my phone twice to see if there was a call or text.)

We grabbed some frozen yogurt and drinks and appetizers—Yes, in that order—and on our way home, we stopped by CVS for baby sunblock and…supplies.

past

At the 6-week postpartum appointment, I was given the “green light” to resume…activities.

While we were in the Family Planning aisle, I said this:

Thoughtsy: I dare you to tell the cashier “It’s date night.” Better yet, because we’re buying condoms and baby sunblock, tell her, “We learned from our past mistakes.”

Then, while waiting in line, we saw Birthday Cake M&Ms and the new huge M&Ms, and I said:

giant

“Feel these M&Ms! They’re huge!”

What’s the weirdest combination of items you’ve ever bought?

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “8 hours in a row??? No wonder her adorable little face looks so peaceful. Condolences to your boobs.”—Pegoleg