Marie Antoniette Really Said, “Let Them Eat Dates”

Apparently, eating dates the month before your due date will make you dilate quicker, and in theory, you’d have a faster labor.

“If only I’d eaten a few more dates and a little less cake….”

Faster labor = Woo-hoo!*

*I probably won’t be “woo-hooing” during the labor, only after when I’ve labored for only 22 minutes. Yes, 22 minutes of labor is my goal. We live 5 minutes from the hospital so 22 minutes is doable and even gives us a time cushion.

Since I’d never eaten a date before, I bought some warm-up dates at week 34.**

**Yes, that’s 2 weeks early, but this baby needs to come out before she gets any bigger and rips me in half upon her arrival.

I bought date pieces because if they tasted bad, I figured I could swallow the pieces without chewing.

Dates taste sweet. Like really sweet. Like almost*** too sweet even for me.

***Notice the use of the word “almost.”

I’ve now hit 36 weeks and the baby is “breathing” like a champ. It’s time to up the date intake.

My midwife is supposed to check this week to see if I’m dilated or effaced. Keep your fingers crossed for 10 cm and 100% effaced. But I want to be realistic, so I’d also take 8 cm and 80%.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

34 responses to “Marie Antoniette Really Said, “Let Them Eat Dates”

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