Last week I posted about my plan to kick Kiefer’s procrastinating butt into gear with Operation Pickle Juice.
I’m happy to report Operation PJ is complete.
I had forgotten all about Operation PJ until I was standing in the kitchen, and a contraction tightened and turned my stomach into an overinflated basketball.
Thoughtsy: Geez. What did that book say to do to make contractions go away?
Kiefer: Sit down! You’ve been on your feet too much.
Sitting down and taking breaks during pregnancy has been difficult for me. So as I sat there waiting for the contraction to pass, my mind looked for something to do.
Operation Pickle Juice!
So I splashed some water on my crotch, threw some pickle juice on the floor, and… began to chicken out.
- What if Kiefer just thought I peed myself?
- All I could smell was pickle juice. He’d be onto me within a few feet of the kitchen.
- How would I keep a straight face?
Man up! I told myself.
Thoughtsy: Uh…Kiefer? I need you to come here.
It was the “need” that got his attention. He rounded the corner, looked at my wet pants, and said…
Kiefer: Is your water leaking?
Thoughtsy: ::dramatic pause with look of terror::
…Just kidding! It’s ok. It’s water and pickle juice.
Kiefer: Phew! Oh…you’re in so much trouble.
Thoughtsy: I love you?
Kiefer: How long have you been planning this?
Thoughtsy: Like a week.
Kiefer: You mean it was premeditated? Big trouble….
Thoughtsy: I love you a lot?
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Is it me, or is there actually ‘shark peen’ on display in that picture?”—Bluzdude
January 14th, 2014 at 8:51 am
You pulled it off! Good for you. I just hope you get the pickle juice smell off your crotch before the big event actually happens. …that would make for interesting convo at the nurses station.
January 14th, 2014 at 10:09 am
Kerie likes this.
January 14th, 2014 at 9:03 am
Oh, he is so going to get you back after the baby.
January 15th, 2014 at 8:31 am
Nah, he already has Daddy brain. He’s probably forgotten already.
January 14th, 2014 at 9:47 am
Good luck convincing Kiefer when your water actually breaks… He’ll be all, “Dill or no dill?”
January 14th, 2014 at 9:54 am
Ha! I love it. Let’s just hope he believes you when the time actually comes. 😉
January 14th, 2014 at 10:12 am
This is the perfect venue for everyone’s favorite pickle joke that I made up.
“Two pickles walk into a bar, sit down and order a drink. The first pickle says to the second pickle.. “Let me ask you a question”..
The second pickle says, “Yeah?”
The first pickle says “What’s the dill with relish, anyway?”
😀
January 15th, 2014 at 8:31 am
Love it!
January 14th, 2014 at 10:31 am
Ha! Thoughtsy, you are my hero. I may have to try something evil like that on Ryan when I get pregnant.
January 15th, 2014 at 8:32 am
I have my heroic moments.
January 14th, 2014 at 10:40 am
I-love-you-alot-question-mark is my favorite get out of trouble tactic. I mean, how can you be mad at someone who is so adorable and quirky?
And then I remember that Zoey Deschanel’s over use of the adorable quirk has killed it for the rest of us. We’re screwed.
Thanks for nothing Zoey.
January 15th, 2014 at 8:32 am
Damn it!
January 14th, 2014 at 11:05 am
Ha! I’m so proud of you! The “NEED” was a great touch.
January 14th, 2014 at 11:07 am
I tried pulling that trick on KAW when she was knocked up, but she didn’t buy it.
January 15th, 2014 at 8:32 am
Bwahaha!
January 14th, 2014 at 11:14 am
Good luck when the day finally arrives.
January 14th, 2014 at 12:57 pm
You have totally made my day now. I bow down to you and your wily ways.
January 15th, 2014 at 8:33 am
It was your idea!
January 14th, 2014 at 4:46 pm
Hahahaha. That is all.
January 14th, 2014 at 8:44 pm
He’s all talk. He will neither pay back his pregnant wife NOR the mother of his youngest child. You’re fine. Good job, girl!
January 14th, 2014 at 9:57 pm
From this day forward, he’s going to think of labor and delivery every time he eats a pickle. His life may be ruined.
January 15th, 2014 at 12:00 am
“You’re not going to make your pregnant wife clean up all this pickle juice from the floor, are you?”
January 15th, 2014 at 8:36 am
Ozzy took care of that. Lucky for me, Ozzy waited until I told Kiefer it was pickle juice. Seeing the dog lick up the “amniotic fluid” would have ruined the joke for both of us.
January 15th, 2014 at 7:29 am
I’m also having a hard time slowing down, generally. When my car wouldn’t start Monday morning, I actually kinda rejoiced. It was like a really literal sign to slow my butt down, which I did by watching lots and lots of The Good Wife as my car was repaired. 🙂
January 15th, 2014 at 9:47 am
Thinking about a dog licking up amniotic fluid made me throw up in mouth a little bit. Seriously. *gack*
lol