With all the cold weather we’ve had, I decided to watch a movie that would make me think warm thoughts. And what would warm me up better than a beach movie?
So I watched Sharknado.
This movie raised a couple questions:
- Why wasn’t this movie titled or subtitled A Grownup Steve Sanders Returns to His Old Stomping Grounds?
- Will we now change the expression “raining cats and dogs” to “raining sharks?”
Here’s what I learned:
- Cutting your legs shaving looks exactly like a shark bite.
- Nothing gets people out of a bar faster than a shark through a window.
- A bar stool is an excellent weapon—don’t underestimate it.
- Always carry a chainsaw. If a shark eats you, you can saw your way out of it’s tummy.
Most importantly, I learned that Finding Nemo’s “Fish are friends, not food” is all a lie. Sharks eat everything.