Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Pregnant Wife

When Kiefer returned from his two-week trip….

Kiefer: Wow…your tummy….

Thoughtsy: Yeeeeeeah. It exploded while you were gone.

Kiefer: It’s just that 2 weeks ago you were barely showing…and now…. You know I’d never say this to you if you weren’t pregnant, but your baby bump got big!

Thoughtsy: Did you just call me fat?

31 weeks

31-Week Baby Bump

The baby is squishing my tummy. That means I can only eat small portions, but that also means I’m eating all the time.

Kiefer: Every time I see you you’re eating something.

Thoughtsy: Seriously? I hate you.

Thoughtsy: Are you freaking out yet?

Kiefer: Nope.

Thoughtsy: You know we only have like 2 months left, right?

Kiefer: Now I’m freaking out.

Thoughtsy: I’m pretty sure only one of us is allowed to freak out. And I already called, “Dibs.”

This one wasn’t by Kiefer, but I thought I’d throw it in anyways. I went to Walmart (my mistake) to shop for cheap maternity clothes.

Thoughtsy: Excuse me, miss? Do you have a maternity section?

Walmart Worker: Yep. Right there on the end.

She sent me to the Plus-Sized section. Yeaaaaah…not the same thing.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

33 responses to “Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Pregnant Wife

  • lauralord

    Oh the things people say…

    And as for the Walmart Worker…unfortunately she isn’t alone. So many people sent me to plus size sections when I was pregnant, and when I made a comment, I got things like:

    “It’ll cover you, right?” or “It’s kind of the same thing.” or “You need bigger, right?”


    • tdawneightyone

      It will “cover” you??!! Well so will a tent but I’m making a baby not camping you assholes!! Sorry…that comment kind of killed me a little. People are idiots and say even dumber stuff to pregnant women than the normal ignorant crap that falls out of their mouths. Sorry for the tone…see comment below for further explanation. (=

      • thoughtsappear

        I haven’t gotten any rude comments yet. But every time I pass someone in the hallway, their eyes go directly to my stomach. “Hi, I’m up here. Thanks.”

        • tdawneightyone

          I’m only 5’2 and am of a small frame so my belly was huge (as was my booty towards the end). It was quite the conversation starter and led people to say the rudest crap I’ve ever heard honestly. What kills me is the fact that people know better than to address a woman’s weight on any given day so why does it suddenly become “ok” when she is pregnant?? Don’t they know some women (me) are a little psycho when they are with child and have been known to attack!!

      • lauralord

        And I just died laughing. I remember carrying all the weight with my first child right in the front. I would turn around and BAM baby belly. People did double takes and finally would be like, “I had know idea until you turned around and…wow. You’re REALLY pregnant.”

        Yes, asshole. My entire body is pregnant, but I’m so glad you noticed enough to put the emphasis on “really”.

      • lauralord

        And I just died laughing. I remember carrying all the weight with my first child right in the front. I would turn around and BAM baby belly. People did double takes and finally would be like, “I had know idea until you turned around and…wow. You’re REALLY pregnant.”

        Yes, asshole. My entire body is pregnant, but I’m so glad you noticed enough to put the emphasis on “really”.

        • tdawneightyone

          Ugh…by the end of my second pregnancy, I barely wanted to go in public. Not because just because it was hot as hell that summer and my bloodhound nose could smell ANY nastiness around me but more because I was going to flip and pop a bitch (male or female) the next time someone referenced me as “huge”. I was out of control …but it was moronic comments that got me there.

          • lauralord

            I went to Paris Island to watch my brother’s graduation from the Marine Corp boot camp…very pregnant. As if hanging out in a place that made a swamp seem pleasant, dealing with bugs the size of my fist, and temperatures somewhere near cremate…I got to see my brother for the first time ever skinnier than me.

            No one failed to bring that to my attention. Repeatedly.

  • Betty

    You are absolutely gorgeous, Thoughtsy! Happy New Year!

  • brickhousechick

    My husband is still paying for his “sins” during my two pregnancies. Do they never learn? You look fabulous! πŸ™‚

  • tdawneightyone

    Plus size is soooooo veeerrryyy NOT the same thing!!!! My own husband made that mistake when I was preggo with my second. We were shopping for a vacation and I was about 8 mths along (and huge but that doesn’t matter!). None of the stores in the mall seemed to have a maternity section so he says, “Well you should be able to just wear “big girl” clothes, right?” WRONG mofo…and he just won himself the silent treatment. The other BIG no no for me was someone say asking if I was pregnant with twins. REALLY? I got slightly violent towards the end of my second pregnancy and just started verbally lashing people that said dumb shit to me. Especially if it involved my weight. I give you permission to slap Kiefer right in the back of the head next time!…and for the love of God…avoid WalMart at all cost. Sorry if this comment has a slight anger tone to it…I’m slightly pms-y and my house seems to have a chocolate and a think for your self shortage this morning.

    • thoughtsappear

      It’s really hard to find maternity clothes. Especially ones that don’t cost an arm and a leg. Baby girl is starting to drop, too, so in addition to my growing tummy, my maternity sweaters are coming up a little short.

      A chocolate shortage! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      • tdawneightyone

        I’ve had third trimester pregnancies in the winter and in the summer and I can’t say one is worse than the other. I was so damn hot in the summer and the friction in between my “thick” legs on the hottest days could have started an engine. And that winter I was preggo was one of the coldest and icy-est. I literally did not have enough layers and I was petrified of falling, which I did quite a few times. You’re so close!!! Is this your first, second, third….any more than that and you’re just nuts!??

  • Brittany

    Oh my gosh the Walmart employee, what a douche!! I am sooooo excited you posted a baby bump picture!! I think you look RADIANT! You’re basically spewing Poptarts out of your pores (that’s a good thing..and has nothing to do with actual food..only because you love them.)

  • The Cutter

    When it comes to Walmart, maybe it is all the same thing?

  • susielindau

    I had a couple of dresses, a denim dress in particular. I did a lot of laundry!!!

  • mistyslaws

    Let me know if you need to borrow my huge maternity (NOT plus sized) pants. I can probably find them if needed. Oh, and one word…..Target. They have cute and affordable maternity clothes!

  • runtspickins

    LOL! Isn’t it weird that Walmart doesn’t have a maternity section?? They have EVERYTHING else. I found Target and Old Navy always had pretty good sales on maternity clothes. Trust me, I was not excited about having to buy a new wardrobe – so straight to the sales I went!

  • monicastangledweb

    You look simply fabulous! Happy New Year, Thoughtsy!

  • sarah9188

    You’re absolutely gorgeous, Thoughtsy. I don’t want to hear any arguments otherwise. πŸ™‚ And just FYI, I am going to track down that Wal-Mart employee and punch her in the face for you. So, so rude!

  • pegoleg

    No, he did not call you fat, of course. He called you PHAT. That’s street for totally bitchin’, or so I’m told.

  • Hannah-Elizabeth

    I haven’t been commenting, but I’ve been reading through this whole shindig. IT’S SO EXCITING THOUGHTSY! Obviously you know that, but, just…eeeeek….
    I just had to share my squeal of excitement with you ^_^

  • cooper

    Don’t listen to ’em all…you look great.

  • bevchen

    You look absolutely gorgeous! Happy New Year to you.

  • Jetendra

    Amazing, Good For You πŸ™‚

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