Dear Baby,
It’s fall. You know what that means? It’s overstuff-yourself-with-yummy-dessert season.* This season begins on Halloween and runs until the last Christmas cookie is dipped in hot chocolate and devoured.
*Pumpkin pie is not included in this season in our house. In fact, even uttering the word “pumpkin” will get you a mouth full of soap.
Up until this point, I’ve tolerated your fruity cravings and indulged you with popsicles instead of ice cream. But now…now we need to talk.
While I appreciate that you’re no longer squishing my bladder, I’m asking you to occasionally stop squishing my stomach. If that means returning to bladder bouncing, so be it.
The other day work was selling warm, homemade apple dumplings. Warm. Homemade. As if that wasn’t enough, a scoop of vanilla ice cream graced the top and meltily trickled down the sides.
And I couldn’t finish it.
Lucky for you, no one saw the leftover goodness in my trashcan.
Thanksgiving is just over a week away. Step up your game. We have a reputation to uphold.
Sincerely,
Your Mama
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “My favorite response from IT is ‘I realize you’re young and tech savy, but my boss remembers when the technology of calculators could run the space missions; and I’m being recorded, so as much as I hate it, I need you to unplug the computer and plug it back in.’”—The Jessence
November 19th, 2013 at 8:45 am
You threw away a warm apple tart covered in melty vanilla ice cream? That’s it, it’s settled. This is a pod baby, for sure. We need to get Keifer tested, stat! Did you ever watch the TV show V? Yeah, I’m a little frightened about what’s gonna be emerging from you in a few months, Thoughtsy.
November 20th, 2013 at 7:54 am
Only half an apple dumping. Maybe even only 33.3333%.
I don’t remember V. I hope my baby doesn’t have lizard eyes.
November 19th, 2013 at 9:27 am
Was there really no option to save some for later? (Ice cream excepted.) My god, Misty’s right… Thoughtsy has been replaced by a Pod Person!
November 19th, 2013 at 9:36 am
I don’t like pumpkin either!!!
November 20th, 2013 at 7:55 am
Solidarity, sister.
November 19th, 2013 at 9:51 am
Mmm…..PUMPKIN. So delish. I am going to send the baby a jar of my homemade pumpkin butter to enjoy. 😉
November 19th, 2013 at 11:59 am
Honestly, that apple dumpling COULD have been sent to someone in need (ie: me) You should be ashamed.
November 20th, 2013 at 7:56 am
But…but…the melted ice cream would have made it so soggy by the time it got to you.
November 20th, 2013 at 11:38 am
Ok. Fair enough. Barely passable excuse but I’ll let it slide
November 19th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
Hahaha awwww! Silly little babe’s got opinions.
November 19th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
I like pumpkin pie. How can you not like pumpkin pie?
November 19th, 2013 at 12:54 pm
P.S. What do hillbillies do for the holidays? Pump kin.
Thank-you-thank-you,-I’ll-be-here-all-week!
November 20th, 2013 at 7:56 am
I think I ODed on it as a child.
November 19th, 2013 at 6:14 pm
If only I had a baby squishing my stomach! Don’t worry, I will uphold your reputation for you. You are welcome. 🙂
November 19th, 2013 at 8:02 pm
Your job sells you apple dumplings? Would you like to have a really old intern?
November 20th, 2013 at 7:59 am
Only like 2 times a year for the dumplings, but there are always food fundraisers. Usually burger burns, but yesterday there was a baked potato bar.
Our building requires card access now so there’s no receptionist. You should just start sitting behind the desk. No one would question it.
November 19th, 2013 at 11:17 pm
Just gave that baby a Coach Eric Taylor style pep talk and you’re all good. “Clear eyes, empty stomach, can’t lose!”
November 20th, 2013 at 6:35 pm
‘*Pumpkin pie is not included in this season in our house. In fact, even uttering the word “pumpkin” will get you a mouth full of soap.”
Awww…but why?