On Monday, Kiefer had surgery (he’s ok). Medical procedures and Kiefer are always a fun combination…for me, not him.
A few years ago, Kiefer had Lasik. The aftermath (aka Drugged-Up Kiefer) was entertaining. After insisting he was fine, he nearly fell off the curb and spent 5 minutes trying to get the key in the front door.
Once we were home, I gave him a lemon-filled powdered doughnut because
I’m evil the lemon ones were one of his favorites and I wanted one for myself, too.
Powder everywhere. And he had no clue.
But the drugs from this surgery weren’t fun drugs. They were groggy drugs. Which meant instead of snickering at a sugar-covered Kiefer, I answered his same questions over and over again.
But I had plenty of other entertainment at the hospital
eavesdropping people watching. Here’s what I learned:
- One lady doesn’t shave her legs during any months with an “R” in them.
- Hospitals have a Blue Hat Club. All the important people wear the blue scrub-hair-covering things.
- When delivering your baby, have an overnight bag…and a cooler. It was probably full of beer.
- Hospitals give you free socks.
- Leave the room entirely when someone get an IV.
This last one is especially important. I turned away when Kiefer got his IV. Only the first one didn’t work, so I turned back around just in time to see a bloody needle.
And that was enough to send a queasy pregnant me to the bathroom gagging.
Hopefully, when I go into labor, the nurse will only stick me once. Otherwise…
Damn you, karma.