I’m Not Fat. I’m Pregnant.

I’m not fat. I’m pregnant.

I have to tell myself that every day. And I’ve only now begun to believe it.

I’ve always struggled with my weight. When I was younger, I was fat. End of story.

The summer before my senior year, something miraculous happened. I dropped 45 pounds in 3 months. I don’t know how. I didn’t even realize I’d lost weight until a friend picked me up to spin me around and his back didn’t break.

The weight stayed off for years…until I started dating Mephistopheles. I put 15-20 pounds back on. After we broke up, I lost the weight, and at age 26,  I was back at my senior year of high school weight.

Who could still wear her prom dress? This gal!

Then I got pregnant. And my clothes slowly started to get tight…and then not fit at all. I cried.

At 24 weeks, I’ve gained 21 pounds. I’m not supposed to have put on more than 18.

And it doesn’t matter how many times people say:

  • You’re pregnant: you’re supposed to put on weight.
  • Don’t worry. It’ll come off when you breastfeed.
  • I’m pretty sure half of that weight is in your boobs.
  • You look like what I look like now, and I’m not pregnant.
  • You were small before, so you need to put on a few extra pounds.
  • The doctor told you not to exercise your first trimester, so that’s expected.

None of it makes me feel better right now.

You know what else doesn’t make me feel better? When midwives say, “How much weight have you put on? Mmm-hmm. A normal pregnancy is only 25-35 pounds…. You don’t want to have a really big baby because that means you’ll need a C-section.”

Responses (in my head) to this included:

  • After 2 miscarriages, I don’t care how big the baby is. I just care that she’s alive.
  • My cat weighs 9 pounds. If the baby is smaller than that, I won’t know what to do with her.
  • After 9 months, I don’t think I’ll care how she comes out as long as she does.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “We still don’t know how the “Sprint unlimited for life” applies to zombies.”—Dana

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

39 responses to “I’m Not Fat. I’m Pregnant.

  • blondinbrille

    So gratifying. Wishing you and your family the best of luck in the future. Personally, I have 5 children. I remain slim because I did not go up much during my pregnancies and all my children were born 7-6 weeks early. They were premature. Today they are beautiful and wonderful children. 2 of my boys has himself become a father. Everything will be wonderful for you. A new world will open up to you. Enjoy. The weight does not really matter. Enjoy life instead.

  • Go Jules Go

    Oh man, I love hearing the obnoxious crap people say to pregnant women – and just think of the gems you’ll hear once the (beautiful, perfect) baby is born! …Sorry. I’m not helping, am I?

  • mistyslaws

    I had an angry road-raging man call me a “fat bitch” when I was 8 months pregnant. I just laughed, and was like, “um, not fat, pregnant . . . jackass.” Soon you won’t be able to see your feet and you’ll realize it’s all baby. And as much as it sucks to get huge, it will pass eventually, and it’s all worth it to get this little Scout. The things we sacrifice for our kids starts very early with our own bodies and self image. Hang in there!!

  • bwcarey

    haha what did you expect, slim and thin, you have to leave a little room for the guy inside, hahaha

  • Jacqueline

    I put on 60 lbs with my first and the midwives were always telling me how I was gonna have this huge baby and all these complications. Noah was 7.14, hardly huge. I think the whole 25-35 weight gain is just a suggestion. A bad suggestion. Go be happy and eat a pop-tart:)

  • pieterk515

    My wife looked like a hot air balloon in her yellow maternity dress the day before my son decided to FINALLY grace us with his presence. Seemed that the stats made sense, while pregnant, big lady means big baby.

    It was a caesarean. And she still loves him.

  • runtspickins

    I was 108 pounds before I got pregnant and I am 31 weeks along and have gained 29 pounds. Supposedly I was only supposed to gain 30 pounds… I have 9 weeks left and I doubt I will only gain 1 pound. At my last appointment my doctor said they’ll start to worry when I reach 40 pounds, which seems very possible to me lol As long as baby is healthy then so be it! Also, if it makes you feel any better – my bra size went from a 34B to a 34DD. Talk about weight in the boobs!!!!!

  • B

    A coworker is having issues with her weight gain too. She’s another one who’s always been small and now that she’s gaining, she can’t stand it!

  • dentaleggs

    I gained about 35 pounds or something. Syd came out 7lbs. 5 oz. Healthy, beautiful, with nothing missing… and so will your little one.

  • susielindau

    My husband used to sing to me while I was pregnant. Nice. Right? “Roly poly daddy’s little fatty.” Enjoy your rolly poly self!!!

  • Linda Medrano

    I gained a total of 20 pounds with my first baby. (It all came off in about a week.) With my second baby, I gained about 30 pounds. (It all came off in about 2 weeks.) My sister gained 70 pounds with her first baby and 20 years later, she’s still struggling with it.

  • Kara

    Why on Earth would your midwife tell you something like that? It’s like she’s trying to scare you or something. Not cool. Eat donuts and cake and tell her to get bent. I think I gained 30lbs by the end of my pregnancy and my daughter was just about 8lbs. No C-Section, either.

  • Carmen

    stop complaining….21 lb boobs will make you popular 😛

  • mammylu

    My bestest most favourite pregnant top said ‘I’m not fat, I’m pregnant’. I miss it. Do not worry about weight! Also, my no1 child was 9.8, number 2 was 8.9 (the difference was 2 weeks in the bump). I now have giant (tall, not fat) children. And let’s not talk about stitches….

  • Choc Chip Uru

    Having children vs. gaining weight – naaah, so worth it!


  • Dana

    I’ve always heard that the bigger, and chubbier the baby is, the healthier it is, thus the musical refrain: “Oh, nice and chubby babyyyyyyy!”

  • Betty

    When I was 13, I was shopping with my mother in manhattan. It was 1974. I was wearing a sun dress with an empire waist. While I was never stick-thin, I certainly wasn’t overweight, but a sales clerk asked when I was due. Again , I was 13. It was 1974. Really???

  • pearlsandprose

    I gained 40 pounds with my first baby and did NOT need a Caesarean. My son weighed 7 lbs. and I lost a lot of weight the first month. I was actually thinner after the baby than before I got pregnant. And I was skinny to begin with. Don’t worry!

  • brickhousechick

    Enjoy that excuse all you want! I wish I could still use it. Often, when I stand in front of a mirror sideways, my tummy looks about 7 mos. pregnant. It is then that I wish I was pregnant!

  • Jen

    You are NOT fat, you are containing a nuclear explosion of human life. People forget, that’s how THEY got here, and they need to back off & stop telling you how to get to the finish line.

  • Aussa Lorens

    Aw 😦 I’ll abstain from quoting any of the cliche responses. Your mind is in the right place though– just get that baby in your arms and healthy and then you can worry about the rest. 🙂

  • marinasleeps

    Enjoy being pregnant!! Don’t worry about anything else. You will miss it! Trust me!

  • Angelia Sims

    You know what? It will bug you. The weight gain. The tight clothes. The changing body. It will bug the hell out of you….until you hold that little girl in your arms. And when you do, NOTHING will matter but her. So go ahead…not much longer now. 🙂

  • Deborah the Closet Monster

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m not glad that you feel this way, but it is so good to read these exact thoughts right now.

    I was going to type out a whole separate comment, but I’ll just copy and paste what I put in my FB share:

    Thoughtsy is about a month ahead of me in her pregnancy. It is such a relief to read her words right now, which so openly touch on something I’m struggling with.

    When I first started losing weight early this year, it was weird and discomfiting. (I’ll post a related link in comments, for anyone who wants more insight into that.) But then I got used to being this lighter yet still substantial version of myself, and I loved it.

    Putting on weight again feels so uncomfortable. At almost halfway through my pregnancy, I’m currently the weight I have spent most my adult life being. It feels terrible. It’s not about how I look but about how I feel.

    I know it’s all going to be fine. I know I’ll be back into my comfort zone before long, and that this gain is temporary. But that doesn’t change that it feels uncomfortable.

    And it doesn’t make me feel any less face-punchy when an NP says, “You’re gaining weight faster than we’d like to see,” and then keeps harping on it despite my reasoned, calm response about why it is not something I’m worried about. I feel like when people latch onto one scripted point like that, it’s because they need some kind of rule to hang on to; they’re not comfortable just connecting with another human being as a human being. But it’s still frustrating, and takes something that should be immensely joyous into the zone of feeling even crummier.

    So, yeah. It’s really good reading Thoughtsy’s post today.

    What she said.

    • thoughtsappear

      I remember that post about your losing weight. And I remember you saying later that you weren’t big on shopping. It’s frustrating to buy new clothes in a smaller size only to have to buy maternity clothes.

      Putting on weight is uncomfortable. I know I’m supposed to, but that doesn’t help. And nurses, midwives, etc. commenting on it doesn’t help either. That’s a really good about point about people needing a rule.

      Maybe we can motivate each other to work off the baby weight later!

  • M_Elizabeth

    Tell people to zip it. Always something to say and a pregnant woman seems to bring them out of the woodwork. Go easy on yourself about the weight if you can. I know I’d feel the same way but try and embrace the great stuff that’s going on and later, you can walk to PA to visit me and all will be solved. Weight, schmeight. Hugs!

  • The nurturer, the warrior and the blogger | The Monster in Your Closet

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