Buy Milk. Ring Mum. Dodge Zombies.

Halloween is tomorrow! To celebrate—and pick up pointers for my costume—I watched Shaun of the Dead. Plus it gave me tips to survive zombie attacks.

Let’s face it. If zombies are going to attack, Halloween is the perfect time because everyone will just assume the zombies are normal people in costume.

On second thought, that might be giving zombies too much credit.

Here’s what I learned:

  • To the untrained  eye, zombies look like drunks.
  • Think carefully, is that lady trying to kiss you or eat you?
  • Throwing a pillow at a zombie will not kill it.
  • When the zombie apocalypse happens, head to the bar.

    The best way to make it to the bar is to act like a zombie.

  • Wrecking your junky car gives you an excuse to drive a cooler car.
  • Jumping over a fence will mostly likely lead to it—and you—falling over.
  • There is no “i” in “Team,” but there is an “i” in “pie.”
  • If you help your exgirlfriend survive a zombie attack, you will win her back.

The most important thing I learned is to watch the news. The poor blokes in this movie didn’t watch the news, so they had no idea that zombies were running around.

I don’t watch the news. That means I’ll be the last one to know the zombie apocalypse has arrived.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I say think big, and register for a year of college tuition.”—Bluzdude

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

18 responses to “Buy Milk. Ring Mum. Dodge Zombies.

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