Today I’m continuing Pete the Penguin’s story….
WARNING: I know these next pictures are going to be particularly disturbing. The pictures are real. Kiefer really went shark diving. I know it looks extremely realistic, but I swear I photoshopped in the pictures of Pete the Penguin. No animals were harmed.
Dear Thoughtsy,
I’m shark diving today. I decided to take our new pet Pete the Penguin with me. Don’t worry; I dressed him weather appropriately.
Look how much fun Pete and I are having! It’s like we’re starring in an episode of Shark Week. The sharks here are so nice. They’re really more like the sharks from Finding Nemo: “Fish are Friends, Not Food.”
Shark diving is 100% safe.
Wish you were here!
Love, Kiefer
To Whom It May Concern:
I regret to inform you that there was an accident. I’m ok, but Pete…Pete didn’t make it. I turned my back for just one second, and he was gone. Just one second. I don’t understand how this could have happened. I didn’t even hear the Jaws theme.
…I have a confession. Pete’s death wasn’t an accident. The shark rattled the cage, and I panicked. The whole thing’s a blur, but apparently I shouted, “Take the penguin instead! I can’t die yet! I haven’t even proposed to Thoughtsykins yet!” before tossing Pete out of the cage and into the Great White’s massive jaws.
I swear this is not a reflection of my parenting skills. Our future children have nothing to fear. Nor is it a reflection of petsitting abilities. I promise to take excellent care of Esme.
Please don’t hate me.
Love, Kiefer
Let’s hope that Kiefer is more responsible with the baby than he was with Pete the Penguin.
Last time Kiefer and I were in Tampa, we’re sure we saw Pete at the aquarium. Hopefully, we’ll see him again this year.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I don’t know — Pete’s cute, but he looks like he’s planning something. Like, you’d get him home, and he’d wear the butler suit and serve you drinks, but then you’d wake up the next morning and find that Pete and all your jewelry are gone.”—Laura
Thoughts Appear 
October 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 am
While I really WANT to believe Keifer when he says this will not reflect on his parenting skills . . . just to be safe, you might not want to take the baby diving with sharks any time soon.
October 22nd, 2013 at 8:31 am
It was really just a matter of time before a shark ate your penguin. It’s the circle of life.
October 23rd, 2013 at 6:55 am
::cue sunrise::
October 22nd, 2013 at 10:06 am
AHHH SHARKS scare the shit out of me!!
October 22nd, 2013 at 11:44 am
No no no no no! I am terrified of sharks, even pictures give me goosebumps. Poor Pete.
October 22nd, 2013 at 12:22 pm
I’m glad you included the Photoshop disclaimer. So realistic.
I was really afraid for Pete and completely ambivalent in my feelings for Kiefer. Whew.
October 23rd, 2013 at 6:56 am
Exactly why I used the disclaimer. My Photoshop skills are beyond advanced.
October 22nd, 2013 at 2:05 pm
I’m pretty sure I saw Pete at the aquarium when I went this past weekend!
October 23rd, 2013 at 6:57 am
Good! He hit on you, didn’t he? He’s quite the ladies’ penguin.
October 23rd, 2013 at 8:55 am
How did you know!? =]
November 4th, 2013 at 8:52 am
‘I didn’t even hear the Jaws theme!’ haha!! Reading this has made my day, brilliant! x