Since I’ve been pregnant, Ozzy Pups has gotten…well…protective.
My sweet pups who wanted to greet everyone is now my personal bodyguard.
- Long gone are the walks where he tried to play with everyone; now he pulls me away from most males on our walks.
- Long gone are his rapid tail wags when anyone comes to the door; now he barks if I’m home alone.
- Long gone is my growl-free pups. If I’m home by myself when you visit, prepare to be stared down and even growled at once or twice until Kiefer comes home. Unless you bring children. Ozzy loves children. But don’t worry, once Kiefer comes home, Ozzy Pups will cover you in apology kisses.
Any suggestions on dealing with a pregnancy-protective dog would be much appreciated.
We’ve tried to channel Ozzy’s protectiveness. Specifically, we’re training him to only protect us against zombies.
Here’s how you can do that.
Step 1: Start small. Start with a zombie part.
I suggest this zombie foot.*

Kiefer will lead you to believe that long cylinder-shaped neon green toy is NOT a dog toy. I assure you, it is.
Step 2: Work your way up to an entire zombie.
I suggest Undead Fred.** Say things like, “Where’s your zombie?” so the dog learns the terminology.
See how Ozzy befriends Undead Fred and lures him into a false sense of security. Ozzy can now infiltrate the zombie ranks.
Step 3: Show your dog an episode of Walking Dead.
This shows your dog the true nature of zombies and what we do to them. Then say, “Where’s your zombie? GET IT! GET YOUR ZOMBIE!”
Step 4: Undead Fred is now…dead.
Ozzy choose to eat Undead Fred’s mouth—the most dangerous part—and then rip out the stuffing brains, so other zombies will assume it was a case of zombie cannibalism.
*The zombie foot and Undead Fred came from ThinkGeek.
**Undead Fred’s name has been changed in case zombies press charges.
Favorite Comment From Last Post:
Doctor: We made a mistake.
Me: Oh s#^t there’s two in there, isn’t there? (In my defense, I was huge)
Doctor: Nope. But it’s not a boy.
Me: Crap. Everything’s blue and there are way too many baseballs.—LauraLord
October 2nd, 2013 at 7:53 am
I would expect nothing less of you than to train your dog to attack zombies in your defense. Now, about Esme . . .
October 2nd, 2013 at 8:10 am
Dogs are smarter than most people.
October 2nd, 2013 at 8:16 am
It’s a slippery slope for dogs becoming zombie killers. But maybe I should send my two boys to you? And Ozzy can teach them? I’d like a little protection, after all.
October 2nd, 2013 at 8:27 am
I think it’s adorable that Ozzy is in Protective Mode. I suggest you keep him on high alert, just in case you get a visit from Jehovah’s Witnesses.
October 2nd, 2013 at 9:50 am
Reblogged this on anakmm2.
October 2nd, 2013 at 11:30 am
Take care! New parents and zombies are similar in many ways! We don’t want ozzy to get confused!
October 2nd, 2013 at 4:31 pm
I had the protective dog thing happen when I was pregnant with my daughter. My advice? Enjoy it. Mine turned traitor on me the second the baby was born and felt its only responsibility was to protect baby…Not that that wasn’t nice, but it would have been nice to cuddle with him again instead of have him performing watch duty over the bassinet.
October 2nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
I think Ozzy did a stellar job. You have done well 🙂
Cheers
CCU
October 2nd, 2013 at 6:44 pm
WHOOO KEEP THE DOG PROTECTIVE!
October 2nd, 2013 at 7:37 pm
Next up, meth dealers. Cue the Breaking Bad :).
October 3rd, 2013 at 7:21 am
Awwwww ﹌○﹌ Your puppies are so sweet!