I had my first pregnancy meltdown. Up until then, I had lured Kiefer into a false sense of security: 17 weeks sans emotional breakdowns.
We were headed out to Kiefer’s soccer game, and I could not find any clothes that fit. I went through at least 5 outfits. Pants, dresses—everything was too tight. And I broke a bra strap.
Finally, I put on a pair of shorts (fastened with a rubberband) and one of Kiefer’s t-shirts.
Kiefer: Ready to go?
Me: ::lower lip quivering::
Kiefer: ::puzzled look::
Me: ::explosion of tears::
Kiefer: ::look of terror:: What’s wrong?
Me: My clothes don’t fit!
Kiefer: It’s ok. ::hugging:: You’re pregnant.
Me: But clothes that fit last week don’t fit this week!
Kiefer: Because you’re pregnant.
Let this be a lesson to you all: Logic does not calm down a pregnant woman whose pants won’t button. The only thing that does is Netflix and Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream.
Kiefer, look on the bright side, there’s only approximately 162 days of pregnancy left.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I don’t trust those bastards at Eggo, either. In an unrelated note, you could become a born-again virgin if you eat enough Cherry Pop Tarts. I looked it up.”—Bluzdude
Thoughts Appear 
September 16th, 2013 at 8:38 am
I say, go pop tarts! I’ve never tried Ben & Jerry’s phish phood, but I hear it’s amazeballs. You’re not only eating for your bub, but all the folks like me who can’t try those delicious foods here in another country!
September 17th, 2013 at 7:56 am
Never…had…Phish Food? =(
September 16th, 2013 at 9:16 am
Kiefer said exactly what he should have said – even if it didn’t help. He’s good! I remember going out to breakfast with my husband and another couple while being pregnant and when the waitress asked me what I wanted, I ordered almost everything on the menu! My husband interrupted me and in front of everyone asked, “Are you sure you want all of that?” I burst into tears and would not speak to him for the rest of the day. 🙂
September 17th, 2013 at 7:59 am
Kiefer has his moments. The next day he said, “I can’t keep up with you. You’re eating a lot.”
September 16th, 2013 at 9:41 am
When my wife finally had to break down and buy a few items of maternity clothes, she’d occasionally catch women who weren’t pregnant shopping in that section for themselves and it caused her hormones to want to murder them dead for some reason. Lol, it’s funnier when she talks about it.
September 16th, 2013 at 9:53 am
It’s really good to hear someone being open enough to talk about it. Yes, irrational.. But so unavoidable and it’s good for others to read about it!
September 16th, 2013 at 10:24 am
I was pregnant three times. I lived in sweats. And I still don’t regret a thing… and I still wish I could live in sweats
Cause no one… NO ONE will tell a pregnant woman a thing,
September 17th, 2013 at 8:01 am
I’m ok with that in another month or two, but now I just think I look fat.
September 16th, 2013 at 10:47 am
You need STRETCHY PANTS!! For the remainder of your pregnancy, and then for the rest of you life after that. Live in them forever!
September 16th, 2013 at 11:15 am
Looks like it’s time for pants with a stretchy panel!
September 16th, 2013 at 11:17 am
I need to get better acquainted with this phish food ice cream. I had a non-pregnancy meltdown this weekend and had nothing but semi sweet chocolate chips to soothe me.
In other news, we have no chocolate chips left.
September 17th, 2013 at 8:01 am
Those chips work in a pinch.
September 16th, 2013 at 11:47 am
When I was still in college, I started dating the hubs. Instead of having to stay with my parents (shudder) when I would come down on the weekends, I moved some clothes into his place. One such weekend, we were about to go out to dinner, and when I went to try on some clothes NOTHING fit. I was so devestated that I had gained so much weight that none of my clothes fit (no, I wasn’t preggers), that I burst into tears. The hubs had to console this crazy girl who was crying hysterically about being fat . . . and then he ended up marrying me anyway! I didn’t even have a valid excuse like you do. Go buy some stretchy clothes.
September 16th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
Poor baby! I loved being big and preggers! Until I got sick and tired of it, that is.
September 16th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Has nobody told you yet, that a woman, pregnant or not, is entitled to a hysterical fit – now and then – like: each day .. 😉
September 16th, 2013 at 12:58 pm
You have 162 days worth of “Get Out of Jail Free” cards, so you might as well use them. MarinaSleeps is right… you could wear a shower curtain belted with a drapery tie, and no one will tell you squat.
September 16th, 2013 at 2:48 pm
Can I just say that these days maternity clothes are so cute that they almost make me want to get pregnant again? (I said ‘almost.’)
September 16th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
I remember my wife, when she was 8 months pregnant, bursting into tears and angrily telling me I ‘could go off with THAT WOMAN if I REALLY WANTED TO.” I’d just ordered some drinks from the barmaid in the pub.
September 17th, 2013 at 3:50 pm
For about 4 weeks crying was a daily occurrence for me, along with emotional meltdowns where I felt like beating my husband (and did) often. I think it’s great you made it 17 weeks! Embrace the elastic waist, maternity clothes are great!!!
September 17th, 2013 at 4:26 pm
This is horrible — I would have a much more hysterical reaction than the measured and appropriate response you had — until you realize that this frees you up to go on a wee bit of a shopping spree. Leggings and adorable flowy tunics for everyone!
October 5th, 2013 at 8:39 pm
Oh! This happens to my while NOT pregnant so… you’re doing great!