Kiefer and I get married on Saturday. That’s just a few days away…and I’m not panicking.
Years ago, Mephistopheles and I were engaged, and he called it off the week of the wedding. That was traumatizing. Of course, two days later he apologized and wanted the wedding to be back on, but I was done.
After that, I swore elopement was the only way to go.
But when Kiefer gave me that option, I turned it down, and for the last four months, we planned our big day.
I thought that over Labor Day weekend I would worry about Kiefer backing out. When I went to work on Tuesday, I realized the thought never crossed my mind.
To prepare us for any wedding mishaps, Kiefer and I watched The Big Wedding.
- For a guy, sometimes his “thing” goes up but may not come down.
- Four and a half years isn’t that long to wait for a proposal. Some women wait 10 years.
- Robert DeNiro is a manwhore.
- “Muffin” can be a person’s name.
- Never have sex with a man unless he reads you poetry first…and brings you flowers for a year.
- Docks have a weight limit. Respect it or you will fall in the water.
Kiefer and I are getting married over water, too (if the weather is nice). I’ll have to look up the weight restrictions.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Thoughtsy, here’s your angle for the next time… When confronted with allusions to pooping, explain that ‘Pooping’ may be a bit of a misnomer, as the only thing that comes out or you is glitter. Then if you really want to mess with his head, leave a little glitter scattered around the bathroom.”—BluzDude