No one tells you what a pain it is to take a pregnancy test. You think, “All I have to do is pee on a stick. How hard can that be?”
You may not have to study for this test, but this will be the hardest test you’ll ever have to take.
The directions in the pregnancy test box are incomplete. Here’s a full set.
- Buy a test on your lunch break.
- Plan to take the test in 2 days in case you’re just late.
- Decide to take the test immediately instead because you have no patience whatsoever.
- Read that you have to pee on the stick for 5 seconds.
- Wonder how long you usually pee for.
- Decide to not use the restroom for 3 hours to save up.
- Try not to do the pee-pee dance on the way to the restroom.
- Pee on the stick.
- Freak out because the pee ricochets off the stick and splashes everywhere. (I totally lied in the post title. Not peeing everywhere is impossible.)
- Realize there is no TP in the dispenser.
- Realize there is TP in the dispenser, but you have to contort your hand into an unnatural position to get it.
- Contort your hand.
- Recontort your hand.
- Recontort your hand again.
By the time you actually get some TP, the test results will be visible.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “You’re allowed to hit people when you’re pregnant, as long as they are strangers. Go on, tell them I sent you.”—Omawarisan