Dear Professor Xavier,
Kiefer and I suffered two miscarriages last year. Desperate for answers, I went through a lot of pokes and pricks to figure out what was going on.
Finally…my insurance changed, and I was able to return to my favorite OB/GYN. He sent me for thyroid testing (all clear!) and then ran bloodwork for some common blood disorders.
And he found one.
Professor X (May I call you that?), I am a mutant.
When can I get my own action figure?
My mutation is called…I love the name…MTHFR. My doctor calls it the “Mother Factor.” Bor-ing.
I’m calling it the M*ther F*cker. Why? Because that’s what the acronym looks like…and it contributes to miscarriages, so that name is kind of literal. Plus…that sounds badass.
Basically, my body isn’t metabolizing Vitamin B like it should, and it leads to pregnancy complications like blood clotting. Step 1 is to try taking extra Vitamin B and some baby aspirin.
Sooooo…May I join the X-Men now? I know it’s not a mutant power that’s useful during a fight, but I’d still like a cool outfit.
Just think about it.
Your fellow mutant,
Thoughtsy
PS: Please do not make me wear a cape.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Tell your mom if she’d raised you better you wouldn’t dress like such a whore.”—Robynbird
Thoughts Appear 
August 8th, 2013 at 7:19 am
Your MTHFR(ing) mutation is an asshat!!
August 8th, 2013 at 7:37 am
In lieu of a cape, you might consider personalized license plates, because MTHFR is pretty rad.
Hoping for the best for you, as always.
August 8th, 2013 at 7:37 am
Are doctors not allowed to swear? Because seriously, if that was me, I’d be MFing all over the place. When else would you have the perfect excuse for throwing that around?
August 8th, 2013 at 7:40 am
Whenever appropriate (and, honestly, whenever inappropriate, too), you can now proclaim “I’m so badass that I can defeat a m*therf*cker with just my bedroom skills and some baby aspirin.”
I’m definitely impressed by that and cannot wait to hear all about your triumphant defeat of this MTHFR character.
August 9th, 2013 at 10:37 am
My vote for best comment ever…
August 8th, 2013 at 7:56 am
Best wishes for overcoming this MTHFR!
August 8th, 2013 at 8:09 am
MTHFR!! That’s pretty accurate! And at least it’s a place to start, right? Fingers crossed for you!
August 8th, 2013 at 8:23 am
Good luck! One day, after you send your little MTHFRs to school on the bus, you’ll think to yourself, boy, what a stupid MTHFR I was to beat that MTHFR and have all these little MTHFRs in the house. It used to be so quiet before I birthed these .MTHFRs…but it’ll be worth it, I’m sure!
August 8th, 2013 at 8:55 am
I’d get a MTHFR t-shirt made. Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I’ve had 4 in the last 2 years but my doctors could never find anything wrong with me. It’s a mystery still. So maybe that MTHFR will be a little useful now that you know how to remedy it. Blessings!
August 8th, 2013 at 9:13 am
I am a phlebotomist, and I had this workup done on me due to a…….. 4 inch long blood clot that almost killed me. No one knew why I got it. My doc called it the mother fucker gene. Isn’t the workup fun? 10 blue tubes and a couple of fainting sessions later….
August 8th, 2013 at 9:38 am
MTHFRing BOSS! In all seriousness though, I am glad you have some answers and I hope this new vitamin intake helps!
August 8th, 2013 at 9:41 am
What about a jumpsuit or a spandex onesie?
August 8th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
Wait’ll the mean-old-lady-at-the-grocery-store gets an eyeful o’ that!
(I hope the hard news leads to happy results for you, Thoughtsy.)
August 8th, 2013 at 10:06 am
Mother fucker sounds like the name of a superhero played by a dad trying to embarrass his daughter at her Sweet 16 party.
August 8th, 2013 at 10:07 am
M*other F*cker is a much better name!! The real name is way too boring to be the cause of such angst! I’m glad they figured it out and that there is something you can do. I struggled with pregnancies too due to my autoimmune condition but I got myself two miracles! I’m sure you will too!
August 8th, 2013 at 10:10 am
So basically you just got medical confirmation that you are a bad-ass MTHFR EFFER. Cool.
August 8th, 2013 at 11:06 am
I feel like a mutant everyday. When my allergies gets the best of me, my forehead peels and i look like a snake with scales and all.
In regards to health issues, oh boy i have several..but i will say my results will say positive..but they cant point a finger to whats wrong with me..so im under surveilance at the moment..(lol) id very much like some super powers..id like the mind control- pretty awesum stuff 🙂
August 8th, 2013 at 11:11 am
Yup, when I saw MTHFR, well even I thought “M*ther F*cker”, definitely better, definitely more bad-ass, still that shit must be a M*ther F*cker! 😦
August 8th, 2013 at 11:58 am
Awesome. Now you can pee flourescent yellow like the other bad ass I know. (me) (Translation: Vitamin B makes fluroescent pee)
Anything else in fluroescent yellow would match nicely should you change your mind about the costume.
August 8th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
MTHFR… a strangely appropriate name!
Glad you got answers!
August 8th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
I’m glad you have an answer! I’m still waiting for approval to join the Super Friends because I could tear a napkin in half and Robin couldn’t.
August 8th, 2013 at 1:40 pm
I have the same exact thing! Yes! MTHFR!!! Ooh, girl, we need to talk about this…
I actually had one m/c before my son. Got pregnant with him, after 2 years of trying (had an ovary and cyst removed in the process). Then years later, I had several m/c in a row trying to get pregnant with my daughter. My OB/GYN ran about a billion blood tests and Bam–MotherF*cker!
What’s crazy is the nurse was calling to tell me this and I had JUST found out I was pregnant for the fourth time that year. She yelled, TAKE A BABY ASPIRIN RIGHT NOW! I was already spotting so I freaked out. But happy ending is….the baby aspirin worked. I took it every single day and stayed pregnant. I often tell people, those tiny little orange pills are why my six year old exists today.
August 8th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
The best part of being diagnosed with this is telling all my friends I’m a motherf*cker by blood now.
August 8th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
Oh, one more thing and I’ll stop, I swear.
I still to this day have to take a Super B Vitamin because I can’t absorb any of the B vitamins.
August 8th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Wow – I’m sorry you had those miscarriages, can’t imagine how tough that would be. But how great that you can help Thoughtsy with your experiences!
August 8th, 2013 at 5:37 pm
Thanks, Pego.
August 8th, 2013 at 1:45 pm
MTHFR, how appropriate. At least now you know. Best of luck, I know you can beat this. 🙂
August 8th, 2013 at 1:58 pm
I bet your Super Power is the ability to metabolize desserts efficiently!
August 8th, 2013 at 2:35 pm
It’s great to have an answer now, and be able to DO something about it, right? Hoping and praying all is smooth sailing for you and Kiefer from here on out.
August 8th, 2013 at 3:16 pm
I am all for the license plate! It’s time to display your mutant powers to the world!
August 8th, 2013 at 4:57 pm
We all know from the Incredibles that capes are dangerous, but I know you have the bod to rock skin-tight leotards as you seek to overcome this MTHFR. Dr. X just has to let you in.
August 8th, 2013 at 5:00 pm
Come on, a cape, boots, maternity top – MTHFN TWN WHR!!
I’m happy you’ve got the answer you deserve. This is going to work.
August 8th, 2013 at 5:53 pm
Thoughts!! I have the same thing. I’m still trying to find a doc that understands what it is. They ran a ton of tests when my thyroid went haywire and found it. I have issues though with B Vitamins and am not sure what to do. I’d love to talk about it – provided you’d like to that is. I just want to find a doc that can speak to it or help me figure out how to get B into my system that doesn’t make me sick. Ok, I’ll stop writing before I give a dissertation on my woes :). I’m glad they had an answer for you and from the reading I’ve done, once it’s addressed, people have healthy happy babies all of the time! 🙂
August 8th, 2013 at 7:55 pm
I love that BABY aspirin will kick the MTHFR mutation. That’s poetic justice for you.
Glad to hear that they identified the problem…and hopefully the solution.
August 8th, 2013 at 8:44 pm
I have protein c deficiency, which causes the same issues! I take a blood thinner daily now! Good luck with everything!
August 8th, 2013 at 10:28 pm
Sorry I cannot push the “like” button but I am with you on the cape thing: Kind of “Look-at-me” thing and hell I would trip on the blasted thing!
Seriously, best to you both and glad you have some answers finally.
August 9th, 2013 at 12:24 am
“No capes!”
Edna Mode
August 9th, 2013 at 10:46 am
Capes would be so inconvenient…. slamming it in doors, getting it caught in a fan during a concert, it dropping into the toilet when you use the facilities, tucking it into the waist of your pantyhose…. Because I love your 1 UP shirt so much, I think that would be great with a logo that says ‘1 UP on this MTHFR.’
August 9th, 2013 at 11:39 am
Capes are fucking awesome… own it
August 9th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Blood clots are really dangerous, so it’s good you found out when you’re young! I have to say, the name you picked for this condition is perfect. 🙂