Just Don’t Make Me Wear a Cape

Dear Professor Xavier,

Kiefer and I suffered two miscarriages last year. Desperate for answers, I went through a lot of pokes and pricks to figure out what was going on.

Finally…my insurance changed, and I was able to return to my favorite OB/GYN. He sent me for thyroid testing (all clear!) and then ran bloodwork for some common blood disorders.

And he found one.

Professor X (May I call you that?), I am a mutant.

When can I get my own action figure?

My mutation is called…I love the name…MTHFR. My doctor calls it the “Mother Factor.” Bor-ing.

I’m calling it the M*ther F*cker. Why? Because that’s what the acronym looks like…and it contributes to miscarriages, so that name is kind of literal. Plus…that sounds badass.

Basically, my body isn’t metabolizing Vitamin B like it should, and it leads to pregnancy complications like blood clotting. Step 1 is to try taking extra Vitamin B and some baby aspirin.

Sooooo…May I join the X-Men now? I know it’s not a mutant power that’s useful during a fight, but I’d still like a cool outfit.

Just think about it.

Your fellow mutant,


PS: Please do not make me wear a cape.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Tell your mom if she’d raised you better you wouldn’t dress like such a whore.”—Robynbird

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

40 responses to “Just Don’t Make Me Wear a Cape

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