It’s Christmas in July

One of the perks of living with Kiefer is cable TV. I get by on my Netflix alone. And while Kiefer is traveling for work, I can watch whatever I want with no judgment.

The other Saturday morning I flipped on the TV, and…nothing was on.

Except lots and lots of Christmas movies.

I panicked. How long had I been asleep? Had I turned into Rip Van Winkle?

Then it hit me: It was Christmas in July. So I opted to watch Home Alone since Kiefer was gone, and I myself was home alone. What if some burglars tried to break in? I needed to be prepared.

Here’s what I learned:

  • Aftershave burns. But keep putting it on your face anyways.
  • “Pump your guts full of lead” means shooting you.
  • The proper way to count is 1…2…10.
  • The best defense involves paint cans on ropes. And blow torches.
  • The worst defense involves feathers because it just pisses them off.

Ultimately, I learned that burglars are pretty stupid, so I’ll probably be fine.

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

16 responses to “It’s Christmas in July

  • She's a Maineiac

    Home Alone, I’m proud to say I’ve watched Home Alone 1 and 2 about 1,000 times apiece. My husband’s all-time fave movie. All I can think about when I watch it is how little Macaulay used to be so adorable. What happened?!

  • mandasiefert39

    I have seen 1 n 2 multiple times and 3 has a dif. kid, but it is just as funny, seen lots of times!! Last night watched the 2nd part of Deathly Hallows, apparently 4 the 2nd time, but I don’t even member the first!

  • preband

    Tror jeg vet hva jeg skal gjøre neste gang tinnitusen og smertene er for mye for meg nå. Har funnet det ut.Tor ikke før jeg ser det finnes hjelp for meg og jg vlir kallet og fordømt. Det bidrear til mine sorc fcd destrusybg,er som salt i sår!

    Den 26/07/2013 kl. 14:19 skrev Thoughts Appear :

    > >

  • smartypantz

    When I was just a little one, I had Home Alone on VHS…I watched that movie so much that the tape flipped itself over somehow. It was a very sad, sad day. Not to mention that it happened just before the real action started when the burglars were just starting to break in, but after the horrid close up of the burnt hand…

  • Dana

    Hmmm, I don’t know if I agree with preband, or not…

  • The Cutter

    The father was recently in the cinematic masterpiece known as Sharknado. So yeah, his career hasn’t really taken off.

  • PinotNinja

    While we were in the midst of repainting the inside of our house a few years ago, my husband left for a week to travel for work. One of those nights, I kept feeling like I saw someone walking by the side of our house and was kind of creeped out. I actually set up a paint can on a ladder in my bedroom in front of the door and then attached a rope to the paint can and tied the other end of the rope to the light fixture. My grand plan was that, if someone broke in, I would swing the paint can at their head if they tried to come into my bedroom.

    Seriously.

    Until now, I hadn’t realized that I had gleaned all of my self-defense knowledge from a pre-teen Macauly Caulkin.

  • Heather @ Sugar Dish Me

    Love Home Alone!! Except… I keep seeing all this Christmas in July stuff– who decided that Christmas in July is a thing? I’m confused…

  • B

    So that’s why those movies were on! I was wondering what was going on!

  • sarah9188

    “Keep the change, you filthy animal.”

    I love that movie. And Christmas in July explains why the heck so many people checked out Christmas DVDs at our library. Lol.

  • katieandablog.wordpress.com

    I love that you said that you get to watch whatever you want “without judgment”. My hubs and I have VERY dissimilar taste is shows and movies. I love to get a little free time to watch what I want to watch! Glad you got it, too!

  • Laura

    I saw Home Alone as an in-flight movie once. When it was over, a kid got up and very carefully arranged a bunch of little toy cars in the plane aisle.

  • bevchen

    Love Home Alone, but Christmas in July?! It’s bad enough having Christmas at Christmas!!

  • The First Trimester Play-By-Play | Thoughts Appear

    […] cry…at the end of Home Alone and pretty much every movie that I […]

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