My birthday is this month, and I plan to celebrate all month long. That’s right. You heard me. Not just one day. An entire month.
I’ll be 32. And man, do I feel old. On the bright side, at least I’m not turning 40. Although, after watching This Is 40, I’m thinking 40 might not be so bad. Except for all the butt stuff….
Here’s what I learned:
- Not every woman wants a turbodick.
- Sometimes men fake going to the bathroom to play on the iPad.
- Your wife will totally ask to see your…#2…if she thinks you’re fake pottying.
- If you’re going to lie about your age, at least be consistent.
- Sometimes you have to look at your husband’s hemorrhoids.
- Just because someone has nice things doesn’t mean she’s stealing. It means she’s an escort.
- There is a drug called “oxykitten.”
- Snitches end up in ditches.
Favorite Comments From Last Post:
- “I think it means you need to go to the store where you bought them and at least offer to pay for the extra yolk. It’s the right thing to do.”—donofalltrades
- “Were you all like, ‘Waaah? Is this some kind of yolk?’…or did you chicken out? *flips cape over shoulder and runs away*”—kickerkim