Some people are afraid of clowns. What is it about clowns that are scary? Is it the big noses? The face paint? The giant shoes?
Gosh, I hope it’s not the shoes. Because my feet are kind of big. I hope I’m not scaring people.
In an attempt to understand coulrophobia, I watched Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Because alien clowns are probably extra scary.
Just in case alien clowns ever attack, here’s what you need to know to survive:
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Clowns wrap their victims in pink cotton candy cocoons or giant balloons.
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Never break a clown’s bike. He’ll decapitate you.
- Shadow puppets from clowns can eat you.
As dangerous as Jurassic Park.
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Circus tents are alien spaceships.
- To kill a clown, just destroy his nose.
This is your worst nightmare.
The most important thing you need to know is some clowns throw pies made of acid that will melt you. To be safe, never eat pie.
Wait…that’s an extreme overreaction. I can’t believe I just said that. I blame jet lag.
A big thank you to all the guest bloggers from last week! You rock!
May 25th, 2013 at 10:55 am
Clowns also live in the sewer and turn into big giant spiders.
Wait, that may have been a different movie…
May 27th, 2013 at 5:55 pm
I freakin’ hate spiders.
May 25th, 2013 at 11:05 am
I’ve actually heard of this movie, but definitely never seen it. Don’t plan to, either. Anything that would scare me off of PIE, is a no go. Welcome back!!
May 27th, 2013 at 5:56 pm
I had pie the next day. It’s only temporary.
May 25th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
That is the craziest movie! It used to have regular rotation on HBO when I was a teenager so I’ve seen it several times and why am I admitting that?
May 27th, 2013 at 5:56 pm
Anything you do before the age of 21 doesn’t count against you.
May 28th, 2013 at 10:21 am
SWEET! I should have done way more stuff.
May 25th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
Whaaaattt? Never eat pie? Is this even Thoughtsy?
No. Can’t be. It’s definitely a pod person!
May 27th, 2013 at 5:57 pm
I take it back!
May 25th, 2013 at 7:36 pm
Oh, my gosh I had to google the movie because I just couldn’t believe it and I was stunned to see 4 stars on Rotten Tomatoes and to see a sequel, clearly I live a sheltered life 🙂
May 25th, 2013 at 9:18 pm
Tim Curry as Pennywise gave me nightmares for like two years.
May 27th, 2013 at 5:58 pm
I’ve never seen that movie.
May 25th, 2013 at 9:33 pm
No no noooo. I hate clowns, and I hate this movie. I’ve never seen it, but I hate it!
May 25th, 2013 at 10:17 pm
As the son of clowns, I can attest that all of these things are true.
P.S. As the son of clowns, I can attest that therapy fixes a lot of stuff.
May 26th, 2013 at 1:28 am
Have you ever looked at the type of people who work at circuses? Maybe that’s why people are often scared of a clown. May not be anything to do with the exteria rather the interior!
May 26th, 2013 at 3:45 am
This reminds me of the episode of Supernatural where Sam has to far this clown fear. They are pretty creepy things!
May 27th, 2013 at 5:59 pm
Love all Supernatural references.
May 26th, 2013 at 8:08 am
Is this all true or are you just clowning around?!?
May 27th, 2013 at 5:59 pm
Ooooooo! You’re punny.
Totally true.
May 26th, 2013 at 9:19 am
I am guilty of this fear! And actually the movie you highlighted is the reason! I watched that movie far too young and could never quite get the images out of my head. Mostly I am afraid because they never stop smiling- you can never tell what they are thinking and that is truly frightening.
May 26th, 2013 at 9:35 am
Reblogged this on O Hay, Stranger. and commented:
Guilty as charged. I will not go anywhere near them, even with a ten-foot pole. There’s just something about their smile. It almost never look genuine. There’s also the fact that no one ever looks good in clown make up. Just look at Heath Ledger: What a good looking face! But with clown make up? Not.. so much. Clowns talk funny too. It sounds like they’re holding their breath all the time. One word. Creepy.
May 26th, 2013 at 3:52 pm
Clowns are like the Joker but scarier because they do not know they are evil…
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
May 26th, 2013 at 4:48 pm
I am so, so happy to see those pics, because straight up until I did, I remembered this as one terrifying movie. I might have to watch it again as one no longer ten years old. 😀
May 27th, 2013 at 7:28 am
When I was in the 3rd grade the girl across the street (the only other girl in a neighborhood of boys), who was several years older than me, invited me over to watch movies. She made me watch Killer Clowns from Outer Space and Chopping Mall. Traumatizing me for life. I was not allowed to go back to her house after that.
May 27th, 2013 at 6:01 pm
I had to look up Chopping Mall. I love part of the description: “Meanwhile, four horny couples are checking out the mattresses after-hours. Little do they know they’re about to go from bed to bath … and beyond”
May 28th, 2013 at 5:44 pm
Sounds Oscar-worthy, don’tcha think?
May 29th, 2013 at 9:48 am
Top 10 reasons to fear clowns:
1. They’re too happy for too long. I’m not against being happy, but when dealing with other people’s children for hours….I question it.
2. They put on make-up and crazy costumes in order to go out and entertain other people’s children.
3. They assume everyone loves a clown, and act accordingly.
4. They use balloons a lot, making that horrible squeaking sound when they create animals with them.
5. You have no idea what they look like under that make-up and oversized outfit.
6. They turn into spiders (Pennywise)
7. They make you hallucinate (also Pennywise)
8. They have man-eating popcorn (Killer Clowns)
9. They wrap you in cotton candy and drink your fluids (Killer Clowns)
10. They want you to eat fast food (McDonalds)
-SR
Survive Reality, Live the Dream
June 2nd, 2013 at 6:21 pm
The movie isn’t particularly scary, although I do remeber finding it very freaky when I was younger. People who have a phobia of clowns should probably stay away from this movie though, because as the title suggests thay are the stars of the show. It is worth watching for the inventive and amusing ways in which the “Klowns” Kill and cocoon their victims alone. But as it happens the film also has a lot more to offer as well. Try as hard as you can to get hold of this movie because it really is a classic. It took me a couple of years of searching but now i’ve got it and it was definately worth the effort.