The Breakfast of Champions

Haaaave you met Darla over at She’s a Maineiac? 

She’s in Maine. Hence her blog name: Maineiac. All that you really need to know about her is that she’s awesome. And…she does celebrity impressions. Vlog, Vlog, Vlog…. Are you chanting? Please tell me I’m not the only one chanting.

Without further ado, may I present to you her Movies Teach Us post.

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I just finished the first year in my pursuit of another college degree. Going back to school at my age brought up many long-buried memories of high school.  Now that final exams are over, I decided nothing could cheer me up more than watching one of my favorite movies for the millionth time. Its life lessons have stood the test of time.

Things I Learned About Life from the movie The Breakfast Club

• When drawing a winter landscape scene, dandruff is a great substitute for snow.
• Never eat your fingernails during detention because the sound is deafening and will only earn you one of Bender’s patented glares.
  

  Don’t even think about it, bud.

• Never try to prop open a heavy door with a flimsy chair.
• You’re super cool only if you wear fingerless gloves and a red bandana wrapped around your boots.
• If you want to get a rise out of a man, simply accuse him of wearing tights in public.

Go on, Bender. Mention tights again.

• When discussing your detention and a teacher asks you, “Do you want another one?” always answer: “So” or “Yes” or “Eat my shorts” or “Not even close, bud.” Always emphasize the word ‘bud’. Teachers love that.
• You can light your cigarette using your shoe.
• You can light your cigarette using your teeth.

I am the master of the flame, baby.

• Ripping pages from a book and angrily putting cards back in the card catalog means you’re a rebel.
• If you repeatedly ask a girl, “Are you a virgin?” be prepared to have Emilio Estevez pile-drive your face into the floor.
• When you’re really fed up with school, just go to the gym and play some angry basketball. Wearing only one sneaker.
• Cigarette smoking helps kids from all social backgrounds bond.
• If you want to be considered ‘kooky’ just wear dark eyeliner and a giant parka, give the Crazy Eyes a lot and steal everyone’s wallets.

What. I’m cold. And I like to put Pixie Stix and Cap’n Crunch cereal in my sandwich. Whatever.

• When all the injustices in high school bring you down and you feel like you’ve lost all hope: Dance.
• The jock will kiss you, but only if you ditch the parka and get Molly Ringwald to slap some makeup on you.
• Even if you have to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention, in the end you will find out that each one of us is each one of us: the jock, the criminal, the basket case, the princess. So we’re all the same on the inside. Or something like that. I guess. Whatever.