A coworker (the one who introduced me to the term “faucet butt”) is in an on-again-off-again relationship with her Baby-Daddy…which is currently “on.” When her relationship is “on,” they have their kids all the time, which leaves no time for dating…or stuff.
A couple weeks after Kiefer and I broke up, this happened:
Coworker: Now that you’re single, I’m going to need to live vicariously through you. So…dish.
Coworker: Dish! Tell me about your dates.
After that, she made it her mission to set me up with someone. At first, her attempts were easily avoided.
Coworker: I want you to go out with my brother. You’ll like him. He’s tall.
Me: That’s sweet of you. But do you really want your brother to be my rebound?
Since then, her attempts to set me up became more stealthy. I started getting Facebook friend requests from people I didn’t know.
Me: Who the heck is John Doe?
A month later….
Coworker: I went on a work trip with John Doe the other week. You’ll love him. He’s the male version of you. He loves dessert! And…he’s ripped.
Me: I’m not sure that combination is possible.
Coworker: I told him you’re moving to his building soon. I also told him if he shows up at your desk with a cupcake, he’s in.
Me: I am not that easily bought! Wait. Yes. Yes, I am. Mmmmm…cupcake….
Today is Day #5 in the new building…no cupcakes have been delivered. The moral of this post? Immediately accept friend requests from everyone if you want cupcakes.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME? Carrot cake M&Ms exist? I live in Canada (ie: the home of no carrot cake M&Ms), so I am now applying for U.S. Citizenship.”—Carmen