Whenever I see other bloggers, we tend to exchange gifts. Usually people give me Pop-Tarts, and I give…booze.
And I don’t do the classy thing and give a nice bottle of wine, I give flavored liquor…in tiny bottles…to carry in your purse and whip out in an emergency.
Why? Because you never know when you’ll need a shot of vodka…to sterilize a zombie bite. Obviously.
Are you following my logic here? Probably not. Just know that on this blog, everything comes down to 3 5 things:
- Zombies
- Pop-Tarts
- Dessert
- Key Lime Pie Martinis
- Gifts for Me
Anyways…last weekend was all about Pop-Tarts and Gifts for Me.
Misty made me homemade Fig and Bacon Pop-Tarts.
I was so impressed with the homemadeness I blocked out the bacon part. You see…
Confession #1: I don’t really like bacon.
GASP! There are only 2 exceptions.
- The first is the bacon that’s crumbled up on salads that’s covered in so much brown-sugary-maple goodness that all you taste is sugar.
- The second is this:
 Hesitant Bite #1 |
 Need-a-Bigger-Mouth Bite #2 |
That’s right, Misty. Your Pop-Tart was yummy. I mean that in a undirty, uncreepy way.
But wait…that’s not all. I got even more Pop-Tarts! Some from Misty and more from The Hipster. (Note: I did not give The Hipster booze. I gave her cookies.)
The Hipster and I also had the 3 Cs this weekend: crab, chocolate, and ice cream. Life is good.
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta Pop-Tartsta.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Honestly, if you’re being attacked by a shark, you’re pretty screwed no matter how many heads it has. (Except zero. If a zero headed shark attacks you, you’ll probably be OK.)”—The Cutter Rambles
Thoughts Appear 
March 27th, 2013 at 7:37 am
“The Hipster and I also had the 3 Cs this weekend: crab, chocolate, and ice cream. Life is good.” WHEW! What a relief. At first glance I thought you and The Hipster had crabs. And I couldn’t, for the life of me, understand why you would blog about it. 😉
March 27th, 2013 at 7:39 am
So impressed with the homemade fig & bacon pop tarts! That is a good friend. I think flavored emergency liquor bottles are maybe the best gifts ever. Hint hint.
March 28th, 2013 at 9:14 am
Got it! When’s the next sister gathering?
March 27th, 2013 at 7:43 am
And speaking of little bottles of booze in my purse . . . I forgot to take them out that night and realized I still had them in there the next day . . . at an Easter Egg Hunt, at the local community center, with my kids. That’s right, that’s how I roll.
Next time . . . you, me, The Hipster . . . we must combine our awesomeness. And our Pop Tarts.
March 27th, 2013 at 8:54 am
Sweet! I was your favorite comment from last time. But now I feel pressure to come up with an even better follow up…and I got nothing. So, um…pop tarts!
March 27th, 2013 at 8:59 am
Pop tarts for booze is a very fair trade. I can’t wait to meet you.
March 27th, 2013 at 9:03 am
I love Bacon so I’m not on the same page as you, but I love the look of those pop tarts
March 27th, 2013 at 9:17 am
Wait, I thought Misty didn’t bake! Misty, can you unbake me a maple bacon poptart? That looks divine. We have a place near work that makes homemade poptarts. Lucky for me, it’s in a tourist destination mall so I’m usually too overwhelmed to go get one.
March 27th, 2013 at 11:40 am
Oh please. If rolling out premade pie dough and slapping on some fig jam & crumbled bacon, then throwing it in the oven is baking . . . then yes, I am a master baker.
Maple bacon pop tarts sound divine.
March 27th, 2013 at 9:49 am
I’m with you on the not liking bacon thing. It’s unnatural, I know. And we get a lot of grief for it (well, I do anyway), but sisterhood is powerful! Let your freak flag fly.
PS- tiny bottles of UV cake or whipped cream vodka? Good for ANY occasion.
March 27th, 2013 at 11:34 am
When can we meet? I’ll bring you cats carrying pop tarts!
March 28th, 2013 at 9:15 am
Whoa….That would be awesome! I’ll let you know when I fly out to the West Coast.
March 27th, 2013 at 11:34 am
I didn’t know pop tarts could be made out of real food ingredients. Super impressed.
March 27th, 2013 at 11:37 am
Maple bacon poptarts sound awesome!
There’s a shop here that seels precisely two flavours of poptart – chocolate and strawberry (in the “American foods” section). Every time I walk past them I think of you.
March 27th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
Red velvet Pop-Tarts – say what?!? Where can I find those? I need those in my life.
March 28th, 2013 at 9:18 am
I shop at Giant Eagle. Any of those nearby?
March 28th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
No. But I will keep my eyes open. I did not know such beauty existed. 😉
March 27th, 2013 at 1:14 pm
I don’t really like bacon either, but then I’ve never had a pop tart (and never will), so who am I to judge?
March 27th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
A homemade pop tart! Well who’d a thunk it.
March 27th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
It has the crimp marks around the edges! Misty has a factory with machines and everything.
March 27th, 2013 at 3:28 pm
Deep fry that bitch and smother it in maple syrup and you got yourself an orgasm-in-one-bite-tart.
Just sayin’
March 28th, 2013 at 9:18 am
Mmmmm…. Maple syrup makes everything better.
March 27th, 2013 at 5:27 pm
I thoroughly support your non-bacon-eating ways. All the more bacon for me! And I volunteer to throw myself at any wayward bacon that may come your way. Think of me as your own personal bacon-related Secret Service Agent. I’d totally take a bacon strip for you.
Wait, that didn’t come out right…
March 27th, 2013 at 10:34 pm
At first I didn’t think a fig-and-bacon pop-tart sounded very appealing — but then it occurred to me that it might be like a giant Fig Newton with bacon, which could be pretty good.
I see you also have hot fudge sundae pop-tarts. Are you going to eat them plain or are you going to make hot fudge sundae pop-tart hot fudge sundaes?
March 28th, 2013 at 9:19 am
I love Fig Newtons.
Now that you’ve said that, I’m totally making sundaes.
March 28th, 2013 at 3:49 am
I remember being about 7 or 8 and seeing an advert for Pop-Tarts on TV. Super-American-ed up and in the middle of all that glorious Saturday morning kids programming, I knew I needed to have these. I begged, I pleased, I whined, I begged some more. And eventually my persistance paid off and my mum let me get a box to try. I hated them. But bacon-y homemade ones, they would be totally worth giving pop tarts a second chance! As for mini bottles of booze – much more my kind of thing!
March 28th, 2013 at 6:52 am
Too bad we didn’t get two more C’s: cup (of soup) and creamy vinaigrette. Next time! Way cool MistyTarts ™.
March 28th, 2013 at 8:50 am
“Thoughtsy been spending most her life living in a Tartsta’s paradise.”
–Coolio (Whippio)
March 28th, 2013 at 9:21 am
As I walk through the Valley of the Poptartless Death….
March 28th, 2013 at 6:18 pm
I give your 3 Cs the heads up. Esp noticeable that you did not print as “3 C’s” like most do. What is the purpose of the apostrophe in this style/usage? I find none , so 3 Cs it is !