On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone always quotes that old Irish saying, “May the road rise to greet you….”
But I’d like to share a saying that’s more important because it may save your life.
Try as he will, Try as he might, Who steals me gold, Won’t live through the night….
—One Crazy A$$ Leprechaun
I watched the movie Leprechaun to get in a festive mood for St. Patrick’s Day. But now…I don’t feel much like celebrating.
Here’s what I learned:
- If you hear a child singing from a suitcase, don’t open it. It’s an evil leprechaun trick.
- Leprechauns don’t like 4-leaf clovers.
- A hot guy is enough to make a girl stay in a spider- and leprechaun-infested house.
- Things you should not say to your father, “That was not a cat! I know what it feels like when a man caresses my leg.”
- Leprechauns will pogo stick you to death.
Most importantly, I learned that real leprechauns are nothing like the guy on Lucky Charms cereal. Someone should sue them for false advertising.
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March 14th, 2013 at 7:58 am
Thank you SO much for putting that image in my head. I won’t sleep until April!!
March 14th, 2013 at 8:42 am
Wouldn’t it be great if that image was on boxes of Lucky Charms? “Mommy, I want that one terrifying cereal.”
March 14th, 2013 at 5:11 pm
Who WOULDN’T want the terrifying cereal??
March 14th, 2013 at 10:32 am
Take the little guy bowling. Litterally; throw him down the lane at the pins.
March 14th, 2013 at 11:04 am
Dolls, leprechauns, Furbys…thanks to Hollywood for tainting every innocent, little symbol from my childhood. Can’t wait for next month’s screening of: The Easter Bunny’s Gonna Eat Your Eyeballs
March 14th, 2013 at 11:58 am
Rat traps work pretty good on those guys believe it or not. Oh I hope it really was the cat and not her father!
March 14th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
I remember watching this when I was much, much younger and not being scared at all at the time. But now for some reason I can’t bring myself to watch it!
March 14th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
This movie scared the shit out of me when I was like 12. I hate that face!! MAKE IT DIE!
March 14th, 2013 at 5:06 pm
I don’t trust the Rice Crispies guys either. This morning, I distinctly heard my cereal say, “Snap, Crackle, Eff him…”
March 14th, 2013 at 5:10 pm
Children singing anywhere shouldn’t be trusted. They always turn out to be leprechauns or demons. That’s pretty much the most frightening sound in the world.
March 14th, 2013 at 5:40 pm
This movie is stuck in my brain as one of the things that truly horrified me as a child… From the commercials alone. I never saw the film.
March 15th, 2013 at 2:42 am
That picture is terrifying! I always knew leprechauns weren’t as cute and innocent as they like to make out!!
March 15th, 2013 at 7:50 am
My fervent hope is that somewhere in the mass of pub-crawling St. Patricks Day asshats that are going to be totally boning my commute tomorrow, a leprechaun like this will create pandemonium on the platform. The hundreds of drunk people will run away, and I will catch my train.
March 15th, 2013 at 7:57 am
Chyeah, I’m not sure even your crazy lady hat will do the trick tomorrow, JM… Nevertheless, may all ye charms be lucky.
March 15th, 2013 at 8:10 am
Thanks!
March 16th, 2013 at 4:24 am
I don’t think I could even stay in a hot-guy-infested house with one spider, never mind the other way around.
March 21st, 2015 at 9:45 am
At the top of the Falls Road in the pub . A fellow was telling stories about the little people and how they met at the top of the Mount and came into this very pub to drink. Just as he finished. The door opened and in walked two men short in stature one a Vicar the other a Father and ordered drinks.
Then a customer asked the story teller ‘Are these Leprechauns real?’ he replied ‘Ask them ‘ and promptly disappeared. Best wishes Ray