Leprechauns Do Not Like Lucky Charms

On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone always quotes that old Irish saying, “May the road rise to greet you….”

But I’d like to share a saying that’s more important because it may save your life.

Try as he will, Try as he might, Who steals me gold, Won’t live through the night….

—One Crazy A$$ Leprechaun

I watched the movie Leprechaun to get in a festive mood for St. Patrick’s Day. But now…I don’t feel much like celebrating.

Here’s what I learned:

  • If you hear a child singing from a suitcase, don’t open it. It’s an evil leprechaun trick.
  • Leprechauns don’t like 4-leaf clovers.
  • A hot guy is enough to make a girl stay in a spider- and leprechaun-infested house.
  • Things you should not say to your father, “That was not a cat! I know what it feels like when a man caresses my leg.”
  • Leprechauns will pogo stick you to death.

Most importantly, I learned that real leprechauns are nothing like the guy on Lucky Charms cereal. Someone should sue them for false advertising.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

17 responses to “Leprechauns Do Not Like Lucky Charms

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