I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

Three things that scare the bejeezus out of me. Three things that keep me awake at night. Three things that I consider my worst nightmare. Those three things are…

  1. A Pop-Tart shortage
  2. A chocolate shortage
  3. Aliens abducting, poking, probing, and prodding me (::shudder::)

If aliens are real, I want to be prepared. That’s why I viewed The Watch. They set up a Neighborhood Watch to catch a killer, and they ended up discovering aliens living in their ‘hood. Here’s what I learned:

  • It really pisses off the Neighborhood Watch when you egg them and then use the pun Yolk’s on you!
  • If you find a silver bowling ball, don’t put your fingers in it. Cows will die.
  • The best place to pitch a tent is in Costco.

    This is my kind of camping.

    This is my kind of camping.

  • If you find an alien, don’t drunk dance with him. He’ll get goo on your face.
  • Aliens are like some guys. Their brains are in their…pants.
  • Sometimes the Police Department rejects you because you’re just too awesome.

The most important lesson I learned is that aliens steal human skin, so they look exactly like humans. So look  at the person on your left, and then look at the person on your right. One of them may be an alien.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “She may be like Perry on Phineas & Ferb. There’s a hidden chute in the fireplace that leads to his base of operation, where he stores his spy gear. (It could happen.)”—Todd Pack

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

12 responses to “I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

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