Fire Safety Tips From My Cat

Esme recently discovered my apartment’s fireplace. I never use it because it’s wood-burning, not gas. And a real fire in my apartment means easy access to smores 24/7 which means packing on 5 extra pounds  just seems like a recipe for disaster.


You can’t see me.

I’m not sure why she’s always in there, but I have a few ideas:

  • Santa Claus is her idol.
  • She thinks it’s the safest place to be during an earthquake.
  • In case the apartment catches on fire, she has an escape route.
  • She’s auditioning for a play in which she will play…a log.

How do you close this? I need some priv-a-cy.

Why is Esme Kitty in the fireplace? Does your pet have a favorite spot?

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

18 responses to “Fire Safety Tips From My Cat

  • mistyslaws

    Well obviously she’s a spy and that is her secret hideout. Duh.

    • Todd

      She may be like Perry on “Phineas & Ferb.” There’s a hidden chute in the fireplace that leads to his base of operation, where he stores his spy gear. (It could happen.)

  • El Guapo

    I thought it was obvious she was looking for smores…

  • Go Jules Go

    I can’t believe you have a fireplace in your apartment! That is badass.

    Uncle Jesse hides in my closet, under the low-hanging shirts, when he hears gunshots in the neighborhood (deer hunters, not people hunters). Sometimes he pokes his head out, and every time it reminds me of that scene from E.T.

  • Dana

    Because she didn’t have a paper bag to jump into at the time!

  • bevchen

    Didn’t you know? She is actually Santa Claws!

  • absentelemental

    My cat used to love sleeping on the windowsill at my apartment. Now that he lives with my dad, he tends to sleep in a drawer of a dresser in my old room.

  • skippingstones

    I’ve only had my cat a couple of months, and she’s always turning up in odd places. I’ve had a dog for so long, even just seeing her at waist or eye level throws me off balance – I turn a corner and there she is just perched on a table or a shelf. Sitting straight up. Staring at me. I’m like, “What the hell?” I’m just glad she doesn’t have opposable thumbs.

  • Linda Medrano

    I used to use fireplaces but they played hell with the air quality in our house. Also, my dogs would go into the ashes and so would the cat. My cat Smokey actually liked to hang out in my closet. I think he had a secret shoe fetish too.

  • Heather @ Sugar Dish Me

    Norma Jean changes her spots about once a week. For the last two days she’s been on top of the kitchen cabinets over the fridge where she can easily look down on the rest of us and sneer. She also likes to try to wedge herself on top of the books on the bookshelf and I’ll freak out because I can’t find her and then I’ll see a little paw hanging over the edge.

  • Brittany

    She thinks you cannot see her, and she is hiding in there plotting the death of your next house guest.

  • Jeanne (NanaBread}

    Perhaps someone told her she could ‘drop a log’ in there. (It wasn’t me.)

  • bluzdude

    During the couple years I had custody of the family Siamese, when he wasn’t sitting on ME, he liked to perch on the back of the couch or easy chairs, so he could look out the window.

  • Redneckprincess

    My kitten is a psycho freak and doesn’t actually stay STILL long enough to have a favorite place, I finally convinced her sleeping on my neck was not working for anyone, thank god…and she has a tulip addiction. I don’t know why or what it is that draws her to them, but she eats them and knocks everything around them off the table. Weirdo…yes.

  • JM Randolph

    Oh, she’s cute! Jack likes to get under the butcher block in the kitchen and growl whenever anyone comes near. Have no idea what that’s about. And Casey likes to sneak into our room and cocoon herself in our bedclothes. She has a real talent for it and sometimes she’s shrouded so tightly I have a hard time extricating her. I have no idea how she breathes.

  • UndercoverL

    I am shocked that you only thought of toasting S’mores and not S’mores Pop-Tarts. Are you ILL???!

  • ryoko861

    Cats do weird things. They just do.

  • Laura

    I think cats like cubby-hole-like areas. Thunder’s favorite spot is in the little nook-like area on top of a built-in cabinet.

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