Being single (and reflecting on past relationships) helps you realize what you want in your new relationship.
I made a list. I really like lists if you haven’t noticed.
- Thou shall list Facebook Relationship Status as “In a Relationship With Thoughtsy.”
- Thou shall not ever give me unfrosted Pop-Tarts.
- Thou shall like chocolate. Or not like. I’m not sure. Is it better to have the chocolate all to myself or to have someone to share it with for weight management purposes?
- Thou shall not tell lies.
- Thou shall occasionally read my blog.
- Thou shall make me the rainbow pancakes once.
- Thou shall make me feel loved and wanted.
- Thou shall like cuddling.
- Thou shall not get mad when I touch your bare skin with my icy cold fingers.
- Thou shall carry me around occasionally.
So, yeah…I think that’s it. I’m pretty low maintenance. #4 and #7 should be givens, but even a couple of my “good guy” exboyfriends occasionally fudged those up.
#10 is especially important. I’m 5’7″. That means I’m the tall girl, so not many guys are tall enough to throw me over their shoulder or carry me around.
Carrying me around is important. Not because I’m lazy…Well, a little because I’m lazy. Mostly because I used to be heavier and now that I’m a carry-able weight, I like to be reminded that I’m light and fluffy. Maybe fluffy was the wrong word…. Look, it’s just important, ok?
It makes me feel light and skinny. And when I feel skinny, it’s a good day…for everyone within my 5-mile radius.
Am I missing any Commandments?
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “The fact that phone sex jobs don’t offer health insurance is exactly why we need health care reform in this country. Also, certain styles of panty make excellent eye patches.”—JM Randolph