When I get upset, I have trouble doing anything except fuming and then tearing up. I’m constantly telling my
5 31-year-old self, “Use your words, Thoughtsy.”
But you know what’s even better than using my words to describe how I’m feeling? Using your words.
I Like Boys Who Wear Glasses: Do you really mourn the person you lost? Or do you mourn losing the person you thought he/she was? When you look at it critically… Isn’t what you really lost your dreams, your hopes, your wishes for the future?
I left Kiefer because I lost hope. And I’d reached a point where I needed more than hope.
Simply Solo: But you ARE the one for some man out there, and the more time you waste with the guy who’s not sure, not ready to take the plunge, the more time you will spend in silent heartache. You are not an impatient woman for wanting to be married.
I want to get married. And the guy who doesn’t want to marry me? He isn’t the right guy for me.
Jules’s Guest Post: It’s not supposed to be hard. When it’s right, it’s easy.
Most of Kiefer and I’s relationship was easy, and I think that’s why it lasted so long. We hardly ever argued or had any conflict. And when we did, it was always about his commitment issues.
Cocktails at Tiffany’s Interview with Just Married Girl: “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”—Maya Angelou
Izzie Darling: “If you see a red flag, don’t try to make it magenta. What you see is the way it is. Believe it and act accordingly.”—Magnolia Miller
Favorite Comment From the Last Post: “…If you run into that lady again, as soon as she leaves do that ‘crazy person’ thing where you whirl your finger around your ear and then point at her. No explanation necessary.”—So I Went Undercover
February 7th, 2013 at 8:29 am
I’ve always said that blogging is my therapy. And reading other blogs/comments has given me many different perspectives on things I might otherwise not be aware of. I love this community. And I love that you are getting something out of it as well. Especially if it helps you heal and/or come to terms with your current situation. Love you!!
February 7th, 2013 at 8:31 am
I want to “Like” this a bazillion times…but at the same time I want to cry. And hug you. And offer you something pumpkin-spicy.
February 7th, 2013 at 8:43 am
Blogging is DEFINITELY my therapy. It also gives me someone to talk to. I have very few close real-life friends – and most of those I do have a) live in a different country and b) have lives/husbands/children to take up their time. My readers are always there to give me advice and make me smile.
You’re so right – once the hope is gone there’s no point carrying on.
February 7th, 2013 at 10:08 am
Maya Angelou & Magnolia Miller… woooooow. Those quotes.
You are amazingly level headed about this whole thing. I am such a trainwreck of a girl when it comes to this stuff. “You are not an impatient woman for wanting to be married”— that one was perfect. Hope you’re doing well, Thoughtsy!
February 7th, 2013 at 11:22 am
Blogging certainly offers a lot of support and it can make all the difference when your troubled, which most of us are
February 7th, 2013 at 11:31 am
I love that last comment about the red flag and turning it magenta. I try to turn my red flags flaming yellow and that never works either. But seriously..it was a good comment.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:06 pm
You get support and perspectives from so many different people my friend, it is true how blogging can be a therapy!
February 7th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
You’ll be fine. Ending a relationship is very difficult, but it happens. Mourning the loss is totally normal, but you do survive and you will move on. Sometimes we have to give up what we want to get what we need.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:46 pm
All good thoughts, Thoughts.
February 7th, 2013 at 7:32 pm
Yeah, I tried turning the red flag into rose-colored and it never worked. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, Thoughtsy.
February 8th, 2013 at 4:49 am
Stick a PopTart in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, spend some time alone and with friends and then sign up for Match.com. Worked for me! Good vibes to you.
February 8th, 2013 at 5:58 am
And…I I forgot to say eat the whole pint! 🙂
February 8th, 2013 at 7:17 am
Great post, Thoughtsy. I tend to turn to the blog world when I’m not feeling so great, too. Cyber comfort!
February 8th, 2013 at 3:32 pm
The blogging world can be so supportive and soon I hope you find what you are looking for,it is always hard to let go,especially when you felt it was so right.
February 9th, 2013 at 1:51 am
Thoughtsy, I love this line: ” “If you see a red flag, don’t try to make it magenta.” It’s so true and I think that’s something we’ve all been guilty of at some point in our lives.
February 9th, 2013 at 8:54 am
I split up with my boyfriend of three years in october, and that first comment about realising that really you’re most upset about losing the future rings so true. And the second about being The One for someone gives me hope! Hope it’s getting easier for you 🙂
February 10th, 2013 at 1:05 am
Such an inspiring view … “thank you” for bringing into my perspective some things about breaking up. Yeah … losing the dreams, hopes, and wishes for the future … most definitely; red flags … gotta pay attention to them; staying in a relationship that is not growing … nope … time to get out. However, believing in someone the first time they show you who they are … well … that could go either way. For me, personally, the first time I show someone who I really am … it is with a tenacious sincerity !! Maybe too strong, huh? … I guess that could back fire, too. But that’s just me. You are doing what you need to be doing … taking time to heal … moment by moment. Now that’s audacious living.
February 10th, 2013 at 8:27 pm
I love that red flag/magenta flag quote. I’d do well to remember it!
Beyond that, lots to think about from this post, but not so much to say . . .
February 11th, 2013 at 8:03 pm
I’m actually really sad to hear about your breakup, stranger/soon to be best blog friend.
The only thing I can add is some wisdom from my actually therapist: Actions speak louder than words. It’s nice that he says all the right things, but what do his actions say?
Proud of you, independent woman. Good luck.
February 12th, 2013 at 8:33 am
I was shocked to read of this this morning. You and I are, once again, in the same boat. We’ve seemed to run in the same timeline even. Huge hugs being sent to you across the miles, sweet girl. xo
February 12th, 2013 at 10:25 am
so glad blogs can help, and thanks for mentioning the guest post on mine 🙂