Over the weekend, I tried to watch The Grey, but in the first 10 minutes a wolf gets shot, and I had to turn it off because wolves are my friends.
Then I tried to watch Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies. But it was too unbelievable. Teddy Roosevelt was in it, and he wasn’t even born until after the Civil War. The unbelievability had nothing to do with the zombies.
After that, I switched to My Cousin Vinny. I learned that “dead-on-balls accurate” is an industry term, and when talking about your biological clock, it makes more of an impact if you stomp your feet.
Finally, I decided to watch The Chernobyl Diaries. I was disappointed, but I did learn a few things about extreme tourism.
Extreme Tourism means you will be…
- Mauled by a radioactive bear.
- Bitten by a radioactive fish.
- Attacked by wild dogs.
- Attacked by Russian mutant cannibals.
And then you’ll die. So when it comes to extreme tourism, just say, “No.”