Father Nearly Killed by Sons in Haunted Forest

Saturday night Kiefer and I took Boo (age 12) and Radley (nearly 10) to Markoff’s Haunted Forest.

It’s like a haunted house…except it’s a forest. It’s really scary.

Imagine stumbling around in the dark, only to be temporarily blinded by a bright light, and once your sight returns, a creepy guy is in your face with a knife. All the while, you can hear the people screaming at the sounds of a chainsaw.

What? I’m just out here cutting wood.

Saturday morning we started having second thoughts about bringing Boo and Radley.

Kiefer: If you start to get scared, just remember it’s not real.

Thoughtsy: Think of it as looking for Halloween costume ideas. And there’s not even a chain in the chainsaw.

To enter the forest, first you go through a little cave, and at the exit stands a really creepy looking guy.

He took it easy on Boo and Radley because Boo hung on Kiefer’s right arm while Radley held Kiefer’s left with a death grip.

But just when I thought I made it past him, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, gently touched my ear, and growled in the other ear.

I did what any normal girl would do. I screamed bloody murder.

Radley begged to stop and go back. But after a few seconds, he calmed down and wanted to keep going.

At the really scary parts, I heard this:

Boo or Radley: They’re not real….

Kiefer: Stop pulling on my hoodie! You’re choking me!

Really Kiefer was lucky he made it out alive.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “When all else fails, I watch Sleepy Hollow because Johnny Depp says he played the character pretending he was Angela Lansbury in Murder She Wrote as a schoolgirl, and of course Nightmare Before Christmas (which is TECHNICALLY a Christmas movie, but it makes the store decoration transitions easier).”—Leauxra


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

16 responses to “Father Nearly Killed by Sons in Haunted Forest

  • Angelia Sims

    You guys are braving than me. A haunted forest? Yikes!!

  • ryoko861

    Oh, we had one of them once behind my house! There’s small patch of woods and then a corn field beyond. We made trails through the woods and lit them with candles. Someone hung out in a tree dressed like a witch and when someone came along, a spot light would pop on and illuminate her while she cackled and laughed, then we dug a hole about 3 feet deep, just deep enough for someone to lie down in, covered them in plexiglass. When someone approached, this person would light a flashlight under their face and all you could see was this face in the ground. I hid behind some brush with some balloons and when someone walked by I would pop one, that would scare the crap out them! We had the chainsaw guy, and someone would wander around in the corn field moaning. It was great fun until the neighbor decided too many people were coming around and she didn’t want to end up having to let them use her bathroom and didn’t want a port -a-potty. It was pretty cool.

  • mistyslaws

    I wonder what the appropriate age is to introduce my kids to haunted/scary things. They are definitely too young now, but it seems as if even 12/10 might be a bit young as well, based on Boo & Radley’s experiences. Thanks for the always educational and enlightening story, Thoughtsy!! 😉

    • Heather @ SugarDish(Me)

      My boys are 9 & 12. We did a haunted hayride this weekend and a haunted corn maze. They had a blast! But I’m waiting a few years before I take them to the haunted houses we typically go to. They are sorta terrifying, but the scariest part is the thought of them piling into our bed all freaked out at 2 a.m.

  • Little Wooden Shoe

    So sad that here is Oz we don’t have Halloween. I experienced it only once when we lived in the States for a year. It was a really great! =0(

  • ifUseekAmy

    Wow, you’re brave. I’m very jumpy and scare easily. I best stay away from all kinds of interactive haunted places, lest some actor grabs me and winds up being throat punched by a frightened crazy lady.

  • Heather @ SugarDish(Me)

    Oh! We had the same sorta weekend! So much fun!! Kids reactions at that age are so genuine and awesome.

  • Deborah the Closet Monster

    Based on this post alone, I think my answer to the question “Wanna go to [a similar set-up] with me?” just changed to “affirmative.” I was afraid I wouldn’t be scared, but now it seems there’s hope! 😀

  • Brittany

    Ohh my god this sounds terrifying. I always have to be in some kind of human sandwich for these haunted houses. I don’t want to be first, but I don’t want my back exposed!

  • Choc Chip Uru

    I want a haunted forest near me sounds awesome 🙂

    Choc Chip Uru

  • lindamedrano

    I want to go there and do that. How fun, (unless you get “gotten” that is).

  • Lucy

    I brought my nephew to a haunted house once, he was about 6, I was 21 and stupid and I got in trouble at the age of 21 because I think I might have ran out the door and kind of left him in the dust, yeah, I got in big ass trouble. Dumb kid, he was suppose to run like hell with me, dah?

  • chemgirljaime (@chemgirljaime)

    haunted houses are the best things about Halloween!

  • Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

    I don’t have the stomach for haunted houses, even though I love scary movies. Maybe it’s because I wear so many hoodies.

  • bevchen

    Oooh, that sounds amazing!! It’s a shame the Germans don’t really do Halloween (although I am… I don’t care if I’m the only one dressed up!).

  • leashieloo

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing. I am the worst at haunted houses! Who cares if it isn’t real, scares me half to death!

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