When Everyone Is Pregnant But You

You’ll see pregnant women everywhere two times during your life.

1. When you’re pregnant…but don’t know it yet.

If suddenly every woman you pass on the street is about to burst forth a baby, go buy a pregnancy test because you’re probably pregnant.

I think it has something to do with the increased sense of smell. You can smell out your own kind.

2. After you have a miscarriage.

After a miscarriage, pregnant women will also run rampid. And not just pregnant women, but babies.

It’s the babies that get to me. To date, I’ve broken out into tears upon seeing babies in the grocery store, on the street, and at a restaurant in the middle of dinner.

Here are my solutions to stopping crying. Not just miscarriage crying, but crying in general.

  1. Hugs from Kiefer. But not my Kiefer. Get your own Kiefer.
  2. Kisses from puppies. Like Ozzy. I’m willing to lend out Ozzy…for a small fee.
  3. Pop-Tarts. That’s why they come in a two-pack. One for you, one for me.
  4. Ice Cream. It’ll make you feel better if you share ice cream with a friend me.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “You should keep your eye on her…you DID say she was kind of slutty, and she IS kind of making moves on your man while you’re at work. Or she’s buttering him up for the kill. Either way—pay attention.”—Sugar Dish Me


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

27 responses to “When Everyone Is Pregnant But You

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