Really it’s a wonder I have any blood left. I gave like 12 vials of blood, and I heard the human body only holds 15 vials of blood. Even vampires don’t want me.
Behold the dark humor from a blood draw.
Lab Tech: You’re here for….
Thoughtsy: I’m having blood drawn.
Lab Tech: I see. But you just had blood drawn 2 days ago?
Thoughtsy: Yes, but I’m pregnant. And now I’m bleeding. (I couldn’t bring myself to say “miscarrying.”)
Lab Tech: Congratulations! (::realizes what I just said::) Ohhhh. (::awkwardly changes the subject::) The doctor only wants 1 vial?
Thoughtsy: Thank goodness. I don’t need to give up any more blood. (::attempting to laugh::)
Lab Tech: Why only 1 vial?
Seriously? Kiefer explains that the doctor only wants my HCG level (on the nearly nonexistent chance I’m not having a miscarriage) before going upstairs for our appointment. Finally, she takes us back to the room.
Thoughtsy: Just so you know, I tend to pass out when I have shots or blood drawn.
Lab Tech: Well, you’re just going to have to grow up and get over that.
Thoughtsy’s Thoughts: W. T. F.
Lab Tech: Oh. I forgot the sticker for the vial. I’ll be right back. Have a seat.
When she returns…
Lab Tech: Please put out your arm. Oh…wait…I need to put on my gloves.
Thoughtsy’s Thoughts: First the sticker, now the gloves. I hope she forgets the needle.
Lab Tech: (::she ties off my arm::) Oh. I need a holder. (::she unties my arm::) Oh. Here it is.
At this point, I wanted to request a new tech because I was sure this lady was about to amputate my arm. But no one else was available.
I had to settle for Kiefer watching her like a hawk. Luckily, it didn’t hurt. And blood didn’t squirt everywhere.
Lab Tech: See? Just a prick.
Thoughtsy’s Thoughts: I want to prick your face.
Any tricks for having your blood taken? What’s your worst blood draw experience?
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “The husband and I dressed as Santa and a dominatrix one year and went as a subordinate clause.”—Prttynpnk