Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall…

I am obsessed with fairytales. The Disney ones and the Grimm ones. I don’t discriminate.

With fairytales, there are always pros and cons. Sure, Cinderella got the Prince, but she had to sleep in the ashes for a few years first. It’s really an underdog story.

I know some people think fairytales show submissive women. But these stories really show how hard women work. The only way Snow White and Sleeping Beauty got some sleep was when a spell forced them to. The men stopped taking the women for granted when they got stuck doing all the work.

Napoleon, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, and…Chuck.

So here are the pros of fairytale land in Mirror, Mirror:

• Back in the day, nobody had jobs. They just sang and danced all day.
• Before lipstick, they used strawberries. Colorful and tasty. Win, win.

Here are the cons:

• Spas used worms for moisturizing, bees for botox, and bird poo masks and scrubs.
• Don’t say, “You throw like a girl.” You’ll get kicked by a horse.
• It’s easy to mix up love potion with a puppy love potion. Then you’re stuck playing fetch every second of the rest of your life.

There is also one neutral, depending on your…tastes:

• Princes spank princesses with swords.

This is a safe place. No one will judge you if you move that up to the pro list.