Don’t Go in the Water

I’ve never really watched the Summer Olympics before, but this week I watched it while I was at the gym.

It’s a motivator really. One day they’ll add ellipticalling (one L or two?) to the Olympics, and I’ll bring home the gold for U.S.A. It’s really just a matter of time.

While I’m at the gym, usually water polo is on TV.

At first, I didn’t even realize what it was. From a distance, it looked like synchronized swimming, and I thought, “Wow. The U.S.A. is definitely not placing in this event.”

But after watching two games (one women’s and one men’s), I now consider myself an expert in water polo.

You can be an expert, too. Here’s what you need to know:

  • Water polo is like hockey. Minus the puck, sticks, ice, and padding. Soooo…by “like,” I mean the only similarity is that it’s bloody.
  • Water polo is dangerous. You could drown.
  • In fact, it only appears that the object of the game is to put the ball in the net. The goal is actually to drown as many opposing team members as possible.
  • Drown the opposing team by grabbing their swimsuits. If they don’t drown, you’ll at least gain some time while they readjust the swimsuit to cover their privates.
  • Men wear Speedos to show off their abs and pecs because there’s less swimsuit for the opposing team to grab.

Don’t be surprised if you see me announce during the next water polo game….

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “That is the cutest form of Robert Pattinson I’ve seen to date.”—Nikki B

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

28 responses to “Don’t Go in the Water

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