Paul: ET’s Distant Cousin

I hate aliens. Hate ’em.

In an effort to win me over, someone (probably an alien…aka pod person Irene) suggested I watch Paul. Here’s what I learned:

  • Aliens probe you because they’re harvesting farts.
  • You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream.
  • To a sci-fi nerd, 3 boobs on a woman is hot, but 4 is just plain sick.
  • Aliens eat birds raw…super raw…as in alive.
  • Getting high feels like wasps in your brain.
  • You don’t need toothbrushes in space.

An alien doing an impression of an alien.

And in case you’re one of those people who don’t believe in aliens, here’s the most important lesson of them all: An alien came up with the characters Agent Mulder and ET.

That means Chris Carter and Steven Spielberg are in cahoots with aliens. That’s why they’re so famous. I knew it….

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

39 responses to “Paul: ET’s Distant Cousin

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