Today is Friday the 13th. So be on the lookout for black cats, broken mirrors, and…Jason.
If you survive today, don’t celebrate too soon. You still have to survive tomorrow: Saturday the 14th, which is even worse than Friday the 13th.
To prepare, I watched the movie Saturday the 14th. Here are a few tips to help you live through the weekend:
- A lady screaming bloody murder sounds exactly like an owl.
- That’s not Jaws in your bathtub. That would just be silly. It’s a giant fish monster.
- Some monsters do the dishes.
- Vampires tend to cheat on their wives once every 100 years. Sorry, Bella.
- City people often mistake bats for owls.
- People will do almost anything for an electric can opener.
Oddly enough, I picked up a party tip from this movie: For a great party, all you need is onion dip and Barbara Streisand music.
So pick up some dip and Streisand and throw a party. After all, there’s safety in numbers.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I mean – what is that thing? Poodles have always looked like aliens to me. No offense to people who love aliens. I mean poodles.”—A White Unicorn