Right before I moved in with Kiefer a couple weeks ago, we had this conversation:
Thoughtsy: So I feel like I should pay you something once I move in with you.
Kiefer: (::jokingly::) You should pay $1,000!
Thoughtsy: What? No! That’s more than I pay now. Plus I’ll spend more on food living here because your kids will eat all my food.
Kiefer: They definitely won’t eat your food. All you eat is broccoli, salads, and fruit.
Thoughtsy: Not that stuff. I mean the Pop-Tarts and ice cream. And the sugary cereal. Radley and I already have a breakfast date with the Double Chocolate Krave cereal.
Kiefer: You do have better cereal.
Thoughtsy: Plus you three are messy. So I’ll constantly be cleaning.
Kiefer: How about you stay here for free if you give me all the sex I want?
Kiefer: So $1,000 minus a $600 cleaning fee and a $300 food fee. And then $100 sex fee.
Thoughtsy: You just turned me into a prostitute. And a cheap one. Thanks. Thanks a lot.