To Whom It May Concern Dear Boyfriend,
I regret to inform that your window of opportunity has closed. You are no longer first in line as my future husband.
Now that Johnny Depp is single, he’s moved to the #1 spot.
Years ago, a Facebook quiz predicted I would marry Johnny Depp, and ever since, I’ve been waiting patiently for his proposal.
Now I’m sure that proposal is forthcoming.
PS: You snooze, you lose.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Happy birthday. I hope someone takes you to a Mexican restaurant and secretly tells the server it’s your birthday, and the entire wait staff parades to your table singing a royalty-free version of ‘Happy Birthday,’ and I hope they give you fried ice cream and give you a sombrero and take a Polaroid picture and pin it to the wall by the cash register.”—Todd Pack