To Whom It May Concern Dear Boyfriend,
I regret to inform that your window of opportunity has closed. You are no longer first in line as my future husband.
Now that Johnny Depp is single, he’s moved to the #1 spot.
Johnny, we’re flavored-vodka people, not rum people.
Years ago, a Facebook quiz predicted I would marry Johnny Depp, and ever since, I’ve been waiting patiently for his proposal.
Now I’m sure that proposal is forthcoming.
Best Wishes,
Thoughtsy
PS: You snooze, you lose.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Happy birthday. I hope someone takes you to a Mexican restaurant and secretly tells the server it’s your birthday, and the entire wait staff parades to your table singing a royalty-free version of ‘Happy Birthday,’ and I hope they give you fried ice cream and give you a sombrero and take a Polaroid picture and pin it to the wall by the cash register.”—Todd Pack
June 21st, 2012 at 8:09 am
I’ve always maintained I could eat a big ole’ bowl of Johnny Depp myself. Share? 🙂
June 28th, 2012 at 7:44 am
I would like Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. You can have Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Sundays can be his day off.
June 21st, 2012 at 8:14 am
Ha! Love Bonnie’s comment. Sir Depp never really did it for me. I think the whole eyeliner thing killed it for me. Same reason Adam Lambert and I would never work out…. What do you MEAN he’s gay?
June 21st, 2012 at 8:23 am
You can have him,,,i’m more of a McDreamy kinda gurl 🙂
June 28th, 2012 at 7:44 am
Mmmmm…McDreamy is nice, too.
June 21st, 2012 at 8:41 am
See, this is where being sister wives would come in handy. Dost thou think the Depp would share? And would he mind moving to Utah or Canada? Then again, maybe France is all progessive about that kind of thing already. I guess we could all 3 just live in the South of France. I mean, if I must! 😉
June 21st, 2012 at 8:45 am
WAIT,,,what?? We have polgmy here in Canada,,,must be over in the west. South France you say,,,I’m in!
June 21st, 2012 at 9:01 am
Facebook quizzes don’t lie. Time to pick out china patterns.
June 21st, 2012 at 9:52 am
Dear Kiefer — Please do not interpret Thoughtsy’s letter as in any way suggesting you should try wearing eyeliner. I like you, Kiefer. I don’t want to have to re-think that. Sincerely, A Very Concerned Quasi-Hippie.
June 21st, 2012 at 10:04 am
Dear Thoughtsy,
Better keep your hands off my potential new boyfriend.
Sincerely,
Skipping
June 21st, 2012 at 10:33 am
Oh my. How did I not hear about this? I assume flavored vodka will be an acceptable wedding gift.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:45 am
Yes. Vodka is always welcome. I should just register at a liquor store.
June 21st, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Once upon a time Johnny Depp was hot… once upon a time Thoughtsy!!!
Now we got hotties like (ahem, clearing throat) Tom Hardy (OMG yum yum) Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pine, Bradley Cooper, or even Robert Patterson if you like em young.
I was always Team Jacob.
So there you go…. now I gotta go google more pics of Tom Hardy and swoon.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:45 am
I’m Team Jacob, too, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t see Edward in your list of hotties.
June 21st, 2012 at 12:08 pm
he is so dreamy.
June 21st, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Truly truly the only man that ever could or should wear eyeliner.
June 21st, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Excuse me but I was down to marry Johnny first!!!! 😉
But good choice in partners my friend!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
June 21st, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Thoughtsy…good choice. You’ve seen his little young naked tush in Private Resort, right? Tell me you’ve seen that. I will keel over in rotten Pop-Tarts if you say you’ve never seen it.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:46 am
I’ll have to add it to my Netflix queue!
June 21st, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Sorry, Sweets. Isn’t happening. The day their breakup went public I went out for Chinese food. My fortune cookie said, “A new relationship is about to blossom. You will be blessed.” I’ve already given my husband his pink slip. So see? Johnny’s mine.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:46 am
So you’re saying Fortune cookie trumps Facebook. Is this like Rock, Paper, Scissors? What trumps fortune cookie?
June 21st, 2012 at 6:03 pm
I don’t know why all these people are asking whether they can share Mr Depp. If Thoughtsy won’t even share her dip, what chance do you really think you have?
Sigh. I love Johnny myself, but if Facebook said you were going to marry him, Thoughtsy, I guess I should step aside and let fate run its course.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:47 am
Normally, I’m not into sharing. Period. Except I would like one night a week for a girls’ night. So someone else can have him that day.
June 28th, 2012 at 11:50 pm
You’re so generous.
June 21st, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Johnny Dep would be a great one night stand. I’m not sure about long term though. He looks like he’s pretty frail.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:47 am
He is looking a little skinny.
June 21st, 2012 at 8:40 pm
All my best to you, and your upcoming nuptials! Please, let me photograph it. And no worries on him, I am more of a …I love THOR!….type of girl. 🙂
He also played the Huntsman in the movie that is out right now. O.M.G.
June 28th, 2012 at 7:47 am
I heard he was in that movie. I want to see it!
June 22nd, 2012 at 12:47 am
I wholeheartedly agree! Johnny Depp is yummy and so is Brad Paisley. My God, if Brad showed up on my doorstep, my husband would be toast, ha ha! 😉
June 22nd, 2012 at 2:33 am
Reblogged this on Sandy Kurniawan.
June 22nd, 2012 at 10:05 am
I am sure that I am the only human being with female loins that does not find JD attractive. He is odd to me. I will give my female card to you and say you will not have to fight me for this one.
June 22nd, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Since Facebook Rules the world when is the wedding?
June 22nd, 2012 at 4:33 pm
That is not a flattering picture. Tell him he can’t wear that to the wedding.
June 23rd, 2012 at 10:28 am
Well, if we’re talking about Cry Baby Johnny, then hell to the yes. But the Johnny of today….meh.
Besides, you’ve got a man that pledged to stay away from your desserts. That’s a winner!!
June 23rd, 2012 at 12:17 pm
hahaha.
1. i’ve missed you.
2. you are mistaken because according to my fb post this morning “two days left of my 20s and i’ve already gotten an early bday present.. johnny deep’s single hood” – i’m clearly already moving in on him.
3. i’ve missed you
June 28th, 2012 at 7:49 am
1. I missed you too.
2. You are a year younger than me, so you may have the upper hand.
3. I missed you…more.
June 23rd, 2012 at 6:23 pm
I wish you good luck in bagging your man! If anyone can manage to get the job done, it’s you!
June 25th, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Happy birthday! Really late and on the wrong post because I’m just catching up from vacation!
June 26th, 2012 at 9:52 am
I’m totally onboard the Depp express in theory, but he just seems a little too moody/deep for me. No I don’t want to hear what Hunter said, no- don’t bring your acoustic lute along, no Keith R cannot stay the night- he pooped behind the sofa last time,no, I will not tie one more hempy bracelet to your wrist. Just shut up and let me stare at you or you will ruin the moment for me?!
July 6th, 2012 at 3:20 am
Reblogged this on ucibulafikairawan.