Johnny Depp: Single and Ready to Mingle

To Whom It May Concern Dear Boyfriend,

I regret to inform that your window of opportunity has closed. You are no longer first in line as my future husband.

Now that Johnny Depp is single, he’s moved to the #1 spot.

Johnny, we’re flavored-vodka people, not rum people.

Years ago, a Facebook quiz predicted I would marry Johnny Depp, and ever since, I’ve been waiting patiently for his proposal.

Now I’m sure that proposal is forthcoming.

Best Wishes,


PS: You snooze, you lose.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Happy birthday. I hope someone takes you to a Mexican restaurant and secretly tells the server it’s your birthday, and the entire wait staff parades to your table singing a royalty-free version of ‘Happy Birthday,’ and I hope they give you fried ice cream and give you a sombrero and take a Polaroid picture and pin it to the wall by the cash register.”—Todd Pack

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

40 responses to “Johnny Depp: Single and Ready to Mingle

Leave a Reply...or a Pop-Tart.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: