Someone Else Bought a Zoo

If you had to choose between people and animals, who would you pick? 

License and registration, please.

When I was a kid, I decided to be a veterinarian because I loved animals. Then I realized that would involve needles and possibly blood. So I decided to be a zoologist. Then I realized that would involve picking up a lot of poo.

Recently, I decided to live vicariously through Matt Damon by watching We Bought a Zoo, and here’s what I learned:

  • Sometimes bears get depressed. Just give them some Paxil.
  • When a little girl calls you a “dick,” it’s cute.
  • “Whatever” is the laziest word of the 20th century.
  • If you keep your kids home from school, they may be eaten by zoo animals.
  • There is a stage of grief that involves zebras.
  • All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage for something great to happen.

Usually at the end of a post, I write what the most important lesson is that I learned from a movie. Something like this:

  • To scare a cat, even a big cat, make loud noises.

Duh.

So this time I’d like to write something the movie could have learned from me.

  • To scare a cat, even a big cat, run a vacuum cleaner.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “It has always been my contention that carrot cake is a salad. Covering it in icing doesn’t make it a dessert. Therefore, you can serve carrot cake, but I want a piece of chocolate cake at the very end of the meal.”—Kitten Thunder’s Girl

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About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

33 responses to “Someone Else Bought a Zoo

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