How To Make the Perfect Mate

I watched Weird Science for one reason and one reason only: to learn how to create the perfect significant other.

Here are the steps you need to follow:

  1. Cut out pictures of what you want your significant other to look like (e.g., eyes, hair style, etc.).
  2. Cut out pictures of the other traits you like (e.g., E = MC2 for intelligence).
  3. Feed the pictures into your computer scanner.
  4. Place a Barbie (or Ken) on a Life board game.
  5. Wear a bra on your head.
  6. Take a pic of you wearing the bra on your head and send it to me. This step is essential. (Seriously. I already got one picture. Where’s yours?)

 In addition to learning how to create the perfect significant other, I also learned…

  • When boys spend a lot of time in the bathroom, they are not combing their hair. They are tossing off.
  • “Tossing off” means…look it up. This blog is rated PG…most of the time.
  • Slushie-ing didn’t originate with Glee. Nor is it specific to school. It can also happen in the mall.

Good luck creating your perfect man or woman!

Favorite Comment From the Last Post: “I never sit on Tom’s lap. Now I’m worried our whole relationship is a sham.”—Cannibalistic Nerd


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

48 responses to “How To Make the Perfect Mate

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