The Scene: Thoughtsy is at a bar for Blarney’s birthday. A random drunk guy begins on hitting on both Blarney and Thoughtsy.
Blarney, always a giver, throws herself on the “grenade” in an effort to save Thoughtsy: Thoughtsy has a boyfriend.
The plan backfires. Drunk Guy nodds. He likes a challenge, so he begins focusing all of his efforts on Thoughtsy.
Drunk Guy: My friends are at another bar, but I think I’ll stay here.
Thoughtsy: But your friends will miss you. You should probably go meet them.
Blarney sends in reinforcements. Cue the entrance of a Brit wearing a shirt that says, “When in Doubt, Pull Out.” Don’t be fooled: it’s a clever disguise.
Brit: Hi, Dear. How are you? (::stretches arm around Thoughtsy’s shoulders::)
Brit: Sweetie, it looks like you need another drink. Let’s go to the bar and get you one.
Thoughtsy: Boyfriend, you’re the best boyfriend ever.
At the bar…
Thoughtsy: Thank you so much for saving me from Drunk Guy! So how long have you been in the U.S.?
Brit: Why are you asking me that? How long have we been together? You’re a horrible girlfriend!
Thoughtsy: (::hangs head in shame::) So did you get one of the cupcakes I brought for Blarney’s birthday?
Brit: I don’t like cake.
Thoughtsy: (::staring in disbelief::) We need to break up. It’s not you; it’s me. I can’t date anyone who doesn’t like cupcakes. So what do you eat for dessert, Soon-To-Be-Ex-Boyfriend?
Brit: Spotted dick.
Thoughtsy: Seriously? Is this a pick-up line? Because it’s awful. Crap…Drunk Guy is coming back. (::throws arm back around shoulders::)
Brit: God, you’re clingy….
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Most key limes are imported now. Bam, citrus facts!”—Blurt