Blarney and the Brit Save the Day

The Scene: Thoughtsy is at a bar for Blarney’s birthday. A random drunk guy begins on hitting on both Blarney and Thoughtsy.

Blarney, always a giver, throws herself on the “grenade” in an effort to save Thoughtsy: Thoughtsy has a boyfriend.

The plan backfires. Drunk Guy nodds. He likes a challenge, so he begins focusing all of his efforts on Thoughtsy.

Drunk Guy: My friends are at another bar, but I think I’ll stay here.

Thoughtsy: But your friends will miss you. You should probably go meet them.

Blarney sends in reinforcements. Cue the entrance of a Brit wearing a shirt that says, “When in Doubt, Pull Out.” Don’t be fooled: it’s a clever disguise.

Brit: Hi, Dear. How are you? (::stretches arm around Thoughtsy’s shoulders::)

Thoughtsy: Hi…Boyfriend!

Brit: Sweetie, it looks like you need another drink. Let’s go to the bar and get you one.

Thoughtsy: Boyfriend, you’re the best boyfriend ever.

At the bar…

Thoughtsy: Thank you so much for saving me from Drunk Guy! So how long have you been in the U.S.?

Brit: Why are you asking me that? How long have we been together? You’re a horrible girlfriend!

Thoughtsy: (::hangs head in shame::) So did you get one of the cupcakes I brought for Blarney’s birthday?

Brit: I don’t like cake.

Thoughtsy: (::staring in disbelief::) We need to break up. It’s not you; it’s me. I can’t date anyone who doesn’t like cupcakes. So what do you eat for dessert, Soon-To-Be-Ex-Boyfriend?

Brit: Spotted dick.

Thoughtsy: Seriously? Is this a pick-up line? Because it’s awful. Crap…Drunk Guy is coming back. (::throws arm back around shoulders::)

Brit: God, you’re clingy….

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Most key limes are imported now. Bam, citrus facts!”—Blurt

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

30 responses to “Blarney and the Brit Save the Day

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