It Really Happened to My Best Friend’s Cousin’s Boyfriend’s Sister

I love watching horror movies.

And by “love,” I mean sometimes I cover my eyes or bury my head in the Kiefer’s shoulder. (You know what makes me feel better? Gift baskets. With Pop-Tarts.)

I watched the first Paranormal Activity movie* by myself. Big mistake.

That night when I (maybe) kicked the sheet off, I freaked out that it was an evil spirit (probably).

So no way am I watching the third movie alone. Kiefer volunteered was volunteered (by me) to watch the third movie with me…which meant he had to watch the first two movies.

Let me start by telling you what I learned about Kiefer.

Kiefer: The dog better not get hurt.

Me: Do you or do you not see the baby in the crib?

Sorry, Boo and Radley. Daddy loves Spot more than you.

Here’s what we learned from the movies:

  • Filming a movie documentary style makes it true.
  • This movie is a true story that totally happened to my best friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’s sister.
  • Always make someone else sleep closer to the door.
  • Tie yourself to the bed so demons can’t pull you off.
  • Don’t leave Ouija boards laying around for demons to play with.

The most important thing I learned is that if an evil spirit is stalking you, you can transfer it to your sister.

And I don’t have a sister. Which means I’m screwed.

*The first movie scared me. The sequel kinda stunk. Typical.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

28 responses to “It Really Happened to My Best Friend’s Cousin’s Boyfriend’s Sister

  • gojulesgo

    LOL A gift basket would fix all of this, eh…? (Smoothly worked in mention! Nice!)

    The Paranormal Activity movies get to me (and I’m pretty sure we had the same reaction about the dog), too! Obviously they’re real. I need to get some sturdier rope…

  • John Phillips

    LMAO, “Do you not see the baby in the crib”

  • mistyslaws

    The hubs was fascinated by all the hype the first movie got and talked about it non-stop. He wouldn’t actually SEE the movie as he hates horror movies, but he was transfixed by it’s allure.

    This is sort of like Blair Witch. Scared the bejeesus out of me. I think it was that documentary style thing. Not that I was a camping fan before, but hell if you will get me out into the woods after all that.

    Oh, and I’ll give you the pop-tarts when I win that basket! I’m a giver. 🙂

  • skippingstones

    I hate being scared! I don’t normally watch scary movies, but I always want to know what happens in the scary movie. So I’ll be off to Wikipedia to check this one out, now…

  • Victoria-writes

    I don’t really watch scary films, msot of the time I just want to yell “Why are you going in there?!” Hehe if you ever have babies, don’t get a dog as his loyality will get torn 🙂

  • Heather @ SugarDish(Me)

    All 3 of these movies terrified me. Saw the second one in the theater and jumped out of my seat at every loud noise. My boyfriend thinks my white knuckled reactions are sort of ridiculous. And hilarious. And I agree– don’t hurt the dog.

  • bluzdude

    I saw the first movie, and liked it a great deal. Intellectually,I knew it was crap, but still, when some of “those scenes” happen, I got instant goosebumps all up and down my arms. Involuntary reaction… that’s how I know it’s scary.

  • Carl D'Agostino

    Fiction horror is tame compared with the actual horrors in the Middle East, Africa and even including our inner cities here.

  • susielindau

    I am working up the courage to watch the first one! I have a lot of paranormal activity in my own house, so I’m not sure I want to activate my imagination…

  • Christina

    I love all 3 of them, and watch them on a regular basis. I really have no idea why, though. Glad you found someone to watch them with you. Sending some pop tarts your way.

  • erica

    I am always more worried about the animals in movies, too. My mom wanted to go to Warhorse, but I told her no because I knew bad things would happen to the horse and I would cry. I can totally watch war movies where humans die, but horses? No, forget it. I feel like it is because I don’t see animals as being culpable, whereas, humans are known for being shitty. Even babies in cribs. Wait, especially babies in cribs.

  • belleofthecarnival

    I don’t think I can watch this one! The trailer scares me! Eeeekkkk!

  • Brittany

    I only saw the first one, which equally freaked me out. I have no desire to see the second and I had no idea there was a third. Oops.

  • lindamedrano

    I think German Shepherds could take on spooks. In fact, I know that pit bulls can. We hear spooks screaming almost ever night while Harry and Zoe chomp on their translucent legs. I love mysteries and thrillers. Horror flicks don’t scare me, but I do find them dumb. My husband loves them. Go figure.

  • Hippie Cahier

    I just knew Kiefer was a dog lover.

  • Angela Noelle

    I actually make my husband sleep closest to the door so that if anyone comes in to kill us, he can protect me. It hasn’t happened yet, but JUST IN CASE!

  • Deborah the Closet Monster

    The first one scared me senseless, but the second one just left me deeply depressed. That’s one of the greatest horrors to me: everything elder generations can do to f*** over subsequent generations.

    I’d better stop typing before I depress myself over more than movie! I’ve still yet to see the third. 🙂

  • marinasleeps

    Ha ha… I agree with you …. this movie was seriously lacking. It didn’t have the same crap in your pants kinda feel like the first.
    Also, I have a sister…. so I am saved!!! Unless she read your blog too and figured she could pass the demon onto me.
    We may have a problem!!
    Wait… I will just make my mom have another kid!! Perfect!!
    At 50 its still doable right?

    p.s. I got the bunny!! (please todays blog!!!)

  • Random

    I like Kiefer. I’m not even that big of a dog lover, but I probably would have said the same thing. Is that so wrong?

  • Choc Chip Uru

    I loved the first movie – and like you watched it alone while everyone was out – I needed that gift basket too 😉

    Choc Chip Uru

  • cooper

    hey…hands off the pop tarts…they’re MINE, I say, MINE (insert evil laugh here)

  • Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

    True story: Literally yesterday, I was looking for a movie to watch on Netflix and came across Paranormal Activity 2. Then, I saw the dog in the picture and was all “shit, there’s a dog in it.” Kiefer and I share the same concerns. I just can’t stand it when animals get hurt, but I could watch a thousand zombies be decapitated.

  • omawarisan

    Damn it, I don’t have a sister either. I’m going to have to get in touch with someone I don’t like.

  • Laura

    I’m with Kiefer on this one. My absolute favorite thing about the first Alien movie is that the cat got through it all okay.

  • monicastangledweb

    I love the lessons you learn from watching movies. Make someone else sleep closer to the door (so true!); don’t leave Ouija boards out for demons to play with (as if they can’t pull them out of the cupboard themselves. 😉 ) Better yet, don’t keep that board game in the house! I think all of these type of movies would be better if at least one of the characters paused once in a while for a Pop-Tart break.

  • crampmystyle

    The call is coming from inside the house!!! This post is hilarious! And so true! My sister and husband became OBSESSED with paranormal activity. Neither of them could sleep, let alone dangle their leg off the bed!! Great post! MC

  • Lucy

    Oh, my gosh, I loved “Do you not see the baby in the crib?”

  • Esme

    I screamed OUT LOUD watching this movie…and Loverboy’s 9 year-old laughed at me. They are calling me a pansy because I refuse to watch the third one.

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