Dear Diary, Why Is the Rum Gone?

Warning: The movie The Rum Diary is not a prequel to Pirates of the Caribbean. If you’re interested in Captain Jack Sparrow’s adventures while stuck on an island with rum, this is not the movie for you. 

I wish someone had put that warning at the beginning of the movie. But what this movie lacked in Captain Sparrow, it made up for in a different Captain: Captain Rum.

Here’s what I learned from The Rum Diary:

  • As long as you have binoculars and a hard-of-hearing neighbor with an open window, you don’t need your own TV.
  • A man can look at another man’s junk, but only with a mirror…because he doesn’t look directly at it. His junk is like Medusa.
  • Johnny Depp’s superpower is making fully clothed women jump in the shower with him.

Most importantly, I learned that even Johnny Depp’s hotness can’t distract me from icky eye…stuff.

Warning: You may not want to look at the picture below. It isn’t pretty.


About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

34 responses to “Dear Diary, Why Is the Rum Gone?

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