Assault With a Deadly Slushie

I love music. And I love TV. So naturally I love Glee.

Before you start hating, the show is educational. Here are just a few examples of what I’ve learned:

• Steroids make your junk fall off.
• Baby batter floating in a hot tub cannot get you pregnant.
• Barney Neil Patrick Harris can sing.
• Not having a gag reflex is a blessing.
• Slushies burn your eyes, run down your cleavage (Hot, right?), and then drip into your underpants (Not so hot).

In case you don’t watch Glee (::gasp::), instead of the jocks verbally teasing the Glee club, the jocks throw slushies at the Glee clubsters.

Us Glee geeks have got to stick together. So when fellow Glee fan Jules took a slushie to the face, I decided to follow suit. Solidarity, sista.

Let’s analyze the video, shall we?

1. When Kiefer asks if I’m ready and I say, “I’m ready.”

A blatant lie. Like you can ever be ready for a slushie being thrown at you.

2. My hands are clasped.

Is that to stop them from protecting my face or from flashing jazz hands? The world may never know.

3. After Kiefer throws the slushie, I licked my lips.

My first reaction was to taste the slushie. I have a serious sugar addiction.

4. Laughter.

Obviously, I’m suffering from a brain freeze because I should be crying.

After the Slushie Incident of ‘012, Kiefer said two things that really show his concern for me the artistic value of the video and his support of my blog.

1. Kiefer said, “Want me to do it again?” ::boo hiss::
2. Upon reviewing the video, Kiefer said, “Maaaaan…I wish I would have gotten your face more.” W. T. F.

Despite the slushie’s yumminess, the world would be a much better place if people sang more instead of throwing slushies. Plus…what a waste of a slushie.

Have you ever had anything thrown at you?