Dear Esme the Cat,
W. T. F. How many times do I have to tell you? No playing with Mommy while she is in downward dog position.
Mommy needs that 25 minutes of yoga/pilates in the morning to…
- Wake up.
- Not feel guilty about that Pop-Tart she’s about to eat for breakfast.
The appearance of the yoga mat and TV Bob Harper does not mean it’s time to…
- Swat at Mommy’s toes.
- Use Mommy’s legs as a scratching or stretching post.
- Wrap your paws around Mommy’s arms.
- Dig your claws into any exposed skin.
I feed you. I give you a roof over your head. I scratch behind your ears. What did I do to deserve those scratches? (Not counting the other day when I accidently shut your tail in the sliding door.)
What were you thinking? Obviously, you weren’t thinking.
Enjoy your claws for the next 8 hours. Once I get home, someone is getting a pedicure. Respect my authoritay!
Thoughtsy aka Mommy aka The Person Who Controls the Catnip and the Can Opener