I Said a Bad Word

I need to expand my vocabulary. In particular, my foul-mouth vocabulary.

For example…

Me: He’s such a—

You: Use your words….

Me: Poopyhead!

You: Seriously? Fail.

Do I want every other word that escapes my lips to be a cuss word? No.

But what if I’m ever asked to be on Jerry Springer? I need to spice it up a bit. Maybe even learn to throw a punch.

Speaking of punches, what if I find myself in some type of confrontation? I need to sound intimidating. And I can sound intimidating by cursing.

Scary Person: I’m gonna gut you!

Me: Well…that’s not very nice.

::Sounds of Scary Person beating me into a coma::

Really. It’s for my own protection. So I’ve decided to buy this book I saw at Retro Metro with Misty.

Creative Cursing for the Cursing-Challenged

Flipping the pages, I was able to come up with some fun words that top even “faucet butt.”

For the Playa...

For the whores who like a man who wears a fanny pack.

For the women of questionable virtue...

Homework: Try to incorporate one of these into a conversation today.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

43 responses to “I Said a Bad Word

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